Well I Told Them

The 2 most important people in my life are my mother and youngest sister.They knew that i "use" to pick my scabs but that i didnt do it anymore,thats how good im at hiding them.Well i told showed them all of my recent scars through the years,they both cried,it hurt my heart,but i couldnt hide it anymore. But it was a complet wast of time,im still hiding it,she gave me cream to make it greasy,thats a joke then anti anxiety meds,whats the point.I really dont think there is a cure for this,what do you guys think?Cover me and bandages..ill take them off,i really cant see anything that would work unless i get some kind up laser removal crap i guess lol its so frustrating and embarrasing. You know that feeling you get when your done with your ritural,and cleaning the blood from under your finger nails,i hate that feeling and myself when im finish.Anyway thats the latest on me.i might tell my best friedn of 15 years,i know she will understand but no more family i already know how that stand from many years ago.take care everybody,ill ttyl

Alexis2484 Alexis2484
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 16, 2009

Very brave of you to tell your family, I haven't told anyone although im very close to my family, nor any of my close friends. I guess its a mix of not wanting them to see me as a victim and feel sorry for me and me not wanting to look weak, pretty similar as to when my mother died when I was 13 and didn't tell anyone of my classmates.

Damn, that sucks for you that they don't understand. You might for example print something from the internet and show them that this is exactly what you have? You can also go to a doctor but he probably won't understand either. Dermatillomania is so not recognized that you have to prove people what you have. I know it's difficult.<br />
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That feeling after picking, I know it. I just hate myself so much for not having control over my actions... as if some other person is living inside me and driving me to do this to myself. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm just punishing myself. <br />
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Although it is difficult, telling people is a good start, I think.<br />
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I am getting an appointment with a psychiatrist who is specialized in (as my mother said) "this kind of things". So help is possible, somehow. We just need to find it. <br />
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Best wishes, you are not alone.