I was diagnosed with diabetes type II several years ago. I have had periods of time when I managed this very well with eating properly and walking. I would get to a place where my a1c was steadily 6.9 and felt so improved, lost a lot of muscle pain and weakness, eyes were more stable and my attitude and general health was improved. I don't know what happens to me but one day I just stop taking my blood sugar's and I stop walking and my eating habits start to dwindle.. and then I get sick with other things that makes my diabetes come to my attention again. Last time I was doing well, by doctor called me his poster child. I did not want him to do this because it signals something inside of me that I can't explain.. also my diabetic nutritionist did not like how much weight I was losing per week even though I am considered grotesquely obese. I was losing about 3-4 lbs a week and was very strict with my intake and my record keeping. I felt fantastic and my hunger had subsided. No more headaches, etc.. I knew I should not listen to her because again.. this does not translate well inside of me.. the next thing I know I am not taking my blood sugars and this time I can't get back on track. The other thing that bothered me was that my fasting blood sugars were always very high and I did not want to see that.. that was why I stopped taking it and I was afraid to eat because if my fasting blood sugar was high then it was going to get higher.. I tried eating snacks that would trigger insulin production and help bring this down, but it didn't help.
I stopped going to the endocrinologist for a several months and then went in and told him I was in a no win situation that I could not pull out of.. he gave me a pep talk, and said he would see me in three months and that he thought I deserved a chance to rise to the occassion and if I didn't I would get very sick and then I would do it..
Well, it didn't work. My a1c are now sliding upwards of 11 and I have dry paste mouth a lot and frequent urination that drives me nuts. I have to see the diabetic teaching nurse tomorrow and will go empty handed without any blood sugar test results and a very tired attitude. I don't know if its the high blood sugars that are making me resistant to change or if I am just depressed from my condition.
But I will go tomorrow and maybe if I come on here.. it will keep it on the front burner so to speak.. maybe it will help.. I'm really lost on this. I have not had a drink in over 22yrs and you would think I could do this to help myself but no..
Has anyone else been there and gotten through this?