I Hate Having Diabetes

Last summer, right after my husband came home from Iraq, I got cellulitis in my right leg that abscessed badly.  I was going to the doc every day to have it lanced and drained for almost a week.  In the course of all this, they did blood work.  My regular doc was on vacation, so I was seeing another doc in the practice.  She mentioned to me on about the third day that my glucose was 411...I almost fell off the table...I had gestational diabetes 7 years before, so I knew that wasn't good...but she let me go home, didn't seem concerned about it and just focused on my leg...two days later my doc was back and I went in for another wound check...he had me admitted to the hospital withing 10 minutes of being there...the other doc tried to cover her *** by saying things like "well, you didn't tell me you have diabetes..."

So, I went into the hospital with an A1c of 11.3...I came out on Amaryl, Metformin and Lantus...nearly a year later, my A1c is 5.8 and I only take Lantus (insulin) at night...I am much more careful with my diet (I am a carb junkie) now and have pretty decent control....but, I can't seem to get any weight off...I've lost about 10 pounds overall since last year, but nothing else...that is the really frustrating part...the research I have read suggest that if being overweight is causing your diabetes, getting the weight off within 2 years can usually put the disease into remission...I would really like that...I hate having diabetes...I am the only one in my family to have it (I'm also the only fat person) and I feel like such a failure.  

I want to live to be at least 100, and now it seems it will be hard to make it much past 65 (I'm 40 now).  I don't have heart disease or kidney disease, yet, but the whole being fat thing is just setting me up to be even more sick in the years to come....

So, I hate being diabetic....I hate even saying it that way...I would rather say "I have diabetes" than to say "I am diabetic"....to say "I am..." makes it sound like diabetes defines me.  I refuse to let it.  I know it is significant, and I cannot let even a day pass without thinking about it, but I refuse to let it take over...while it was a wake up call, and gave me a reason to pay more attention to myself and my health, I still hate it.

Thanks for reading. 

SerenitySeeker SerenitySeeker
41-45, F
24 Responses Jun 8, 2008

You would do well to think of yourself as a star in your own biography, with thousands of fans looking to you as a model for successful living, a source of guidance and inspiration. I think you're already half-way there, Dear One! I'll be watching for a share from you called "I Beat Diabetes!"

I recommend reading Wheat Belly by William Davis, MD. I guarantee you will lose a lot by avoiding wheat and eating low-carb.

Hmmm.... you would lose weight more easily off of LANTUS. You might consider BYETTA or VICTOZA, both of which cause weight loss.<br />
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More importantly the key to weight loss and exercise is to adopt and cultivate mindfullness.<br />
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Check out the American Diabetes Association website on lifestyle intervention programs and mindfulness ba<x>sed stress reduction.<br />
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or check out our website awakening2health

I hate diabetes i am a diabetic.I had a brain tumor at the age of 3.And that started my diabetes at the age of 17.I am not happy any more.I am just wating to die.But being on hear helps.But i am not scaired to die.

@engineer1337<br />
you cant help it if your a type 1 diabetic. no ammount of excercising, watching carb intake, or "weaning" off insluin is going to change that. im a type 1 diabetic, and it is so much harder hten being a type 2. i am 17, 5'8 and weight 138 pounds. i have good blood sugars and an A1C of 7.1. <br />
it doesnt matter that i work out at least once a week, and eat no junk food. i will always have diabetes. it sucks, and i have had it for almost 10 yrs, and i still get sad thinking about how much is changed my life. it makes me cry if i think about it long enough.

@engineer1337<br />
you cant help it if your a type 1 diabetic. no ammount of excercising, watching carb intake, or "weaning" off insluin is going to change that. im a type 1 diabetic, and it is so much harder hten being a type 2. i am 17, 5'8 and weight 138 pounds. i have good blood sugars and an A1C of 7.1. <br />
it doesnt matter that i work out at least once a week, and eat no junk food. i will always have diabetes. it sucks, and i have had it for almost 10 yrs, and i still get sad thinking about how much is changed my life. it makes me cry if i think about it long enough.

Try Weight Watchers and walking a little bit every day. The weight will come off but very slowly.

I've been diabetic for almost three years now. Earlier this year , I developed cellulitis in both legs, plus I've had heart failure for just as long. While I was in the hospital , I also developed two blood clots in my left leg. I'm not currently taking any medication , because I'm on disability from work , and I can't afford health insurance. I try not to worry about how long I'm going to live like this. I don't know. I could die tomorrow , but I'm not going to worry myself sick about it.

Hello. I would like to say that they should NOT have let you go home with a BS of 411- that is just crazy. I have had this disease for almost 40 years, the highest mine has been was 998, and I went into DKA, which, I can tell you, is hell. I have type 1, which is diagnosed as an autoimmune disease. I do not think Type 2 is, because the pancreas still produces insulin. To loose the weight, get plenty of rest and exercise, and my doctor told me about the "Mediterranian diet" which seems to be the best for getting proper nutrition and keeping your blood sugars stable. Talk to your doctor and tell him what your goals are with your weight- he should be able to make suggestions to you- thats what he's there for. I hope that this helps you out! Its hard, I know. After 40 years of sticking myself with a needle, I feel like a pin cushion!! The best of luck to you.

Everything will be fine if you don't lose hope dear , Be strong and take care of your self like my grand Ma took , she was 80's when doctor diagnosed with high dietetics's in her blood ,but she took the chance and was very strong at that moment ,and ma family support was also with her and she made it , tis now beeen 15 year's,her age is 95's ,now mashaAllah she's having a good health

I too have had cellulitis and diabetes as well as gout.I am significantly overweight as well.I know I should lose weight and drop the carbs but I just can't get started.I do not have any family support.II do take my meds and test faithfully.Hopefully you can get a handle on things and go forward.And thanks for being a military family.Hats off.

I "have" type II diabetes. I was diagnosed several years ago when I was past 50. I hate shooting myself with Lantus. I hate the constant vigilance and am not very good at it. I am the only one of my family including 57 cousins who is infected, except the twins juvenile from mom's side.<br />
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I have always struggled with weight and my age makes that harder. I am a Vietnam vet, so maybe it is all the Agent Orange I wadded through...still hate it.<br />
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Now, about you. You said that loosing weight within two years can get you off the meds. I know a woman who had juvenile diabetes and was in her 50s when she changed her diet lost weight and had been off insulin for at least two years. I realize this is anecdotal. Still it encourages me to keep trying. I hope it will do the same for you.<br />
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Being fat is only failure in America. When I was about 31 my mother had a Korean boyfriend who thought that my, then stout, solid build would have made me a hunk in his country.<br />
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Let me close with a couple of quotes from Steven Wright.<br />
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"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."<br />
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"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." or diabetes.

I had a wonderful doc that said, "Here's a chart. You figure out what foods make your blood sugars go up." He also had no clue what meds to give me and constantly changed them. I have since changed doctors and am feeling better. I take metformin which kills my gut causing me to lose weight. Good luck and hope you get better.

Thanks to everyone for their input here...I am still struggling with this...my A1C's are good, but changing my diet, changing my habits, exercising...all hard...it's nice to know I am not alone in my struggles...SS

Good luck to you my friend. I have had it for 20+ years and while a struggle everyday I am doing ok. The encouragement of friends and loved ones can help tremendously!

all old types of insulin is obsolete!<br />
a new one called Novo Rapid and also Long gets your diabetes in very tight control!<br />
you test before each meal, and inject the amount you ned<br />
at night you inject Long which looks after you all night<br />
it requires VERY CLOSE monitoring for awhile, but once you are used to it, it's great!!!!<br />
my guys glucose level hovers around 6 to 8 all the time

Exercise will work, but exercise works even better when you combine with superior nutrition:<br />

Exercise is the only thing that's going to make that weight come off faster (I hate exercising too).<br />
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I have PCOS which is related to insulin resistance and I've finally bit the bullet and started exercising- with time I've come to not hate it so much- but yeah my one siliver lining is knowing when I hit my goal weight I don't have to work as much! lol.

For those who hate having diabetes or hate taking the diabetic drugs, look at what this ex-diabetic engineer did and take action:<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjOqmcrr-R0<br />
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And, read the testimonials from the other doctors on his website!

I should also mention Dr. Vernon has had great success with her patients being on this diet.

I hate having Diabetes too but I hate the cookie cutter approaches most Doctors use. I was sent to talk with a Clinical Pharmacist who wanted me to go on the standard Diabetic diet. After a little research I discovered it isn't a "Diabetic" diet at all but a Cardiac diet. It's loaded with carbs. I read about a Doctor in my home state named Mary Vernon re-introduced the "Joslin" diet named after Dr. Joslin who treated his patients in the twenties with diet. (Insulin hadn't been discovered yet) The diet is high in proteins and veggies, low in carbs and moderate in fats. After starting this diet, my sugars came down, my A1C lowered and I feel a lot better. Hang in there dear lady. New treatments are around the corner, including a tube inserted into the first foot of the small intestine which apparently reduces the rate sugar is absorbed.

Good for you! -- do not allow the disease to define you. However, you can control and defeat this disease, and you can program your body to burn the belly fat. How do I know this?<br />
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You see, I almost died from diabetes, but I lost over 55 pounds and recovered fully by weaning off the insulin, Coumadin and other drugs. <br />
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As a diabetes educator and health coach, I am now helping other diabetics address the Number 1 reason why they are diabetic and I am not: "the lack of the proper knowledge".<br />
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Here I am being introduced by a doctor at a medical conference:<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ECUOu2rFto<br />
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Here's part of a TV interview on NBC:<br />
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCn8iaaOerI<br />
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Other videos (medical conference):<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-LBLOPgGJw<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3mdxBSl-Xc<br />
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Introduction by health federation, cancer group:<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1usfy_Xvfg<br />
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Hopefully, you will choose to become a "victor of wellness" instead of a "victim of disease". May God bless you on your journey to wellness.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
The Engineer

You were allowed to go HOME with a blood sugar of 411?????????? You poor thing....Did anyone explain the connection between the cellulitis and diabetes or that diabetes is an autoimmune disorder NOT brought on by eating too many carbs? So many doctors don't.....message me anytime if you have questions....(I am a dietitian!)

Hang in there and keep taking care of yourself. I hope that the weight soon starts to come off.