Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Anybody As Full As I Am? Lol

Hello i am living with 19 alters...some good...some bad...and i really would like to talk to somebody else who has them...its really awkward for me to talk about this but i figure if im going to this is the best place to do so
MissRabbit MissRabbit 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 8, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

There are 32 of us that I know of, but most of them rarely come out.

There are 22 of us right now. Like you, we have some good and some bad.

I have 19 too actually. I wasn't going to comment.. but I just wanted to say that I have 19 too and it's nice to know someone else has the same as me.

wow....are they mostly female or male?

18 female and 1 male

although now that I think about it i was including me in the 19 so maybe you have one more than me

yeah its 20 including me lol. and mine are mostly male. haha theres only 5 girls, myself included

1 More Response

Also, I like that you started this post with LOL. I feel like humor is a super-important aspect of dealing with this creative situation.

I maybe have a less severe case than most as it's very rare that any of my multiples take over and I have amnesia about something that has happened. I do have a whole bunch of them though living inside a sort of forest in my mind with about three dominant personalities vying for driver's seat. It's not so much that anyone takes over, but more influences my decisions.<br />
<br />
For me it's actually really useful, interesting, and actually comforting. It's a great to talk to them (internally) about the issues I"m dealing with and use them to figure out what's causing my emotions, etc. This seems especially true with abandonment and self-esteem issues.<br />
<br />
I do have problems with my memory but it seems to be another coping technique. In times of confrontation with others (real people), if I'm excessively stressed I feel like I can actually sense memories being erased during the conversation- sort of like an etch-a-sketch (if you remember those). I've found that I have to write down conversations verbatim immediately after they happen if I want to be able to remember them later. Otherwise conflicts disappear from my register and I act as if nothing happened. <br />
<br />
For me, the whole trick has been to learn how I operate and work with it rather than against it. There are real reasons people have amnesia and ways of dissociating from emotions. They are probably tools that have saved us, thus they're valuable and useful to a certain extent. <br />
<br />
I don't know if this is useful for you, but I hope you are having an ok experience. Good luck!

Hello, I am an alter of our "orrigional" and she is in terrible denial that we exist, I would actually love to speak with you, infact, it will assist us in our own quest to bring to realization our "Big Sister's" predicament. So, if it's all fine I'd like to become great friends. :3<br />
<br />
~Destiny Lean

our more than welcome to talk to me...or my alters

that's wonderful to know~ thank you

What do you mean, some are bad? They all have their jobs to do. I have awakened in jail three times, and I know which personalities had control, but I consider all of them good.

I understand. I really need to talk to someone about this too. Don't know how many 'roommates' I have yet. Throughout life, I've heard and come to recognize a great many different voices and thoughts that don't belong in my head. Trust me when I say, you know when a thought isn't yours…not sure how, but its true.<br />
Was just given a DID diagnosis. Somehow, though I didn't know about Them, I've always known...and have tried to hide it since I can remember. <br />
Don't know why, but tried to fight the diagnosis at first...but its me against Them. <br />
Therapist relays that They are demanding to be heard, as well as be given 'privileges', have their own stuff… <br />
Well, how about Me? Stop stealing my time...don't eat my steak, its not yours. Its a crowded house in here and only one of us can go outside at a time.<br />
Sorry<br />
Hope I'm coherent...everything feels numb and through a fog right now.<br />
They never steal the time you want them to.

Hi yes your threapist is right everybody needs time to speak to the threapist and tell their story as they need healing too. Difficult in the begining but they all played a part in helping and protecting you and once recognized makes an easier way to live. If you have questions feel free to write me I have 13yrs of dealing with 50 personalities.

Why do they make my life so hard Now? I don't need them anymore...and I don't like some of them.

I understand some of them actually act out due to anger etc but even the ones u don't like and especially those are the ones that need to come out and talk to the threapist to get the help they need to make your life more functional. I have met some real nasty alters and with some threapy and understanding on my part they have shown a much nicer side. Also appreciation and acceptance goes along way with them as they have suffered alot on your behalf even though u don't need them now, they don't just go away. I really feel for you and what you going through.

We have The Drill Sergeant...he hurts us when secrets are told. The more I find out about Us...even during therapy, the worse I'm getting. I'm intensely scared and worried for every part of my life right now as I'm just healing from our last 'accident' down the stairs...how bad would this be without meds now?...I shudder...

1 More Response

Hi. I'm the "owner" of a body with 15 of us living inside. We'd like to talk about this with you, and get to know each other. There are lots of us EP, by the way, and it's pretty safe here. Only one negative comment from one person in the 2 1/2 years on EP. Please pm me if you're interested!

sweet! ill do so

wow, sounds like you've been through something else to cause a full 19 alters to come out. <br />
<br />
do you continue to have alters come out occasionally? or almost never anymore? are there a couple of alters that came out more frequently?

there are some that rarely come out if ever...and one or two that are ouit all the freaking time

ok, i thought it would be something like that.

do you vaguely remember details about the personality that comes out, is there some specific things it likes to do, or maybe it kinda spaces out a lot?

sometimes its like im watching myself and i have no control. its weird

yeah i bet that is very weird.

Hi am new here, and would like to Learn, I do not have DID, but have BPD, PTSD, &amp; Depression.
I have read several books, Rabbit, Sybil, &amp; others.
My question is, for you or others that now realize you have DID, can someone ask you if they can speak to an alter, and will that alter come out and speak? And if so, would You know what they were having a conversation about? Or would you be say behind the scene and be unaware of the conversation, and what it was about? In other words, are you like standing back and watching Alters?
Thank you, to anyone who sees this and could answer.

I cannot speak for miss rabbit here who is the one with DID. However, I do doubt that one can simply request or ask to speak to an alter personality. Humans might consciously choose to react to a conscious verbal request from another person, but things like an alternate personality, don't work that way. Her alternate personalities will come out for other reasons, likely a strong trigger is her emotions, her stress, moods, etc. So her alters will come out for more genuine and powerful reasons, not because of a verbal request, her alters are not a part of her conscious mind, so you have to trigger her subconscious mind, to effect the alter personalities, which takes quite a bit more effort than asking please.

3 More Responses

In reference to the above question. I have known people here that have many alters and some of them will have their own EP accounts and on some forums they will have a few different usernames. Some can be very particular about having a space that is just for them and none of the others and try hard to keep that information private from the others. <br />
<br />
That is why the best forum even has a separate space for child alters to speak to each other or to ask for help. I thought that was a very good idea as a scared child alter shouldnt be looking for help in the same place that someone elses angry verbally aggressive alter is lashing out.<br />
<br />
Anyway posted link on my reply to question. Managed to find it fairly quickly. Good luck :)

very interesting concept, unfortunately there aren't enough persons experiencing alter personalities for EP computer programmers to design the site to accommodate alter personalities. lol.

Well the ones I have known wouldnt want their accounts to be linked to alters other accounts. I have known people here discover that an alter has made their own email, ep etc etc and been chatting to people all over the place and sometimes that several have done that. Each one will be attracted to areas that suit their individual needs. eg one may join groups about horses and kittens and tea parties but have another that unknown to the rest joins groups on their own account that are to do with picture swapping and dirty talk. I have seen it happen a few times here. Each personality has its own likes and dislikes. Often online their paths wont even cross

a few of my alters do that aha

I certainly dont envy anyone dealing with it or anyone that has a partner that is dealing with it. I would hate to find that 'I' had been doing things out of character or be worrying that my partners alters would do something that could be classed as unfaithful. Must need to be pretty strong people to handle that kind of thing.

yeah its hard when alters want their own lifes and those lives conflict with your own

2 More Responses

Haha your assuming all of them come out regularly or are even interested in this site sir

Lol that wasnt a dumb question. ive heard some pretty offensive comments trust me

yeah i bet you've heard some really looney responses from people.

telling them you've experienced multiple personalities must cause many to react in, "unique" ways, questioning, offensive, discrediting your claims, etc.

however, it's not as rare a problem as many people must think it is. There is a secret government program known as MK ultra, and part of that program was conducted specifically to figure out how to find certain susceptiable persons in society, abduct them, and perform processes upon them that would breed an alter personality that could be programmed for certian uses. I'm certain there must have been great difficulties and much failed attempts at doing this, but there have been many partial and many full successes in this type of work for them.

that is by far the most interesting response i have ever gotten haah

yeah, I research what I consider interesting subjects such as secret government projects, secret military technology, conspiracies, etc.

Heard of MK ultra.

2 More Responses