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Am I Wrong?

I have 5 alters that I know of. There's one in particular that is stronger and tends to take over more than the others. Her name is Cocoa. She has been with me since I was 8 I think and she is 36. She tend to take over when I'm stressed and she handles situations totally different than how I would. The thing is, she is everything that I'm not. Shes strong, stern, confident and really tough. Shes a tomboy too. My boyfriend has gotten to know her and she and him have fallen in love with each other. (fine by me). I love her too because she protects me and does everything she can to make my life easier and to keep me happy. I'm willing to let her live her own life through me. By boyfriend says that when he proposes to me he will also propose to her too. 2 rings and all. I guess I'm wondering if I'm wrong for wanting this? I know this is something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life so I feel like I shouldn't let her existence be miserable.
Mercedes215 Mercedes215 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 24, 2012

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How do you know what their names are? I was just diagnosed this year with DID.

I used at least 5 but two more have come up it now ranges from 7 to 9. But my point is, my ex gotten to know thwm all. He likes them all. And some of them r in love with him and some of them r not. It is hard when u love a guy and one of your alters don't. Or someone them have diferent tastes in male. An alter pop up recently named lauren who is a lesian. This create a problem as u can see lol. She complains about my clothes and say it is too frilly or too girly. She is ntot a mal but she is very casual. I don't have the money to buy her clothes.

It is also nice of u to not be jealous that he also want to make an commitment to your alter. That is wonderful. I am happy for u and two rings yikes, hope he gets a good deal. Sounds expensive.

It's great that your boyfriend understands and grasps the fact that there is more to you than you. The other part of you is able to get along with your boyfriend and you are able to as well. With work and patience you, your other and him will find an arrangement that works. <br />
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There's many in my system. Know that the words I and me is used loosely only cause it's difficult to write the word us all the time. We range from one end of the spectrum to the other and. Then there's the age gaps. We don't like the same things , see things the same way etc. To find one man whom we all would accept , fall in love with and be able to find a happy medium with would be a blessing in disguise. This is speaking of us older ones. There's also the consideration of the littles in our system. Having to protect them at all times. <br />
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When reading where two , an alt and the main can get along, communicate and enjoy life with one another gives us hope that just maybe it's possible one day for us too.<br />
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If it feels right for you then how can it be wrong to want the two rings and harmony..?

I read this the other day and commented but it seems to have gone. just found out my wife has 3 altars and wanted to add you cause its new to me and I dont know what to do so maybe through your eyes or something I can gain some experience so to speak. What do you think ???

It is learning experience for both of u guys. But u cld learn some basics about it. It is helpful.

It really doesn't matter anymore. All her altars and from what I know, they're were 8 but they said there was more and she should be locked up. That's what her altars said. Anyways I wrote this post a while ago and since then my wife of 11yrs just one day up and left. I got the kids the house the lot and there's nothing I can do about it. I tried to help so much I really did. Thing is you can't help someone wife or not if they don't want to be helped. The 1st March is a long time ago now and she pulled the pin on the hand grenade and just let it go BOOM. I tried to save the marriage for the kids and got nothing in return. It was all planned and when she got the first opportunity she took it. I got two kids to that woman and two other boys whose mother died and she abandoned us all. Sad but true story. Only now is she starting to see the kids on a irregular basis and I'll take what I can get as having four boys and a bad back ain't easy. It's really just sad.

Oh and I did learn a lot and treated each altar with respect. Even the child like ones but yeah she's just not my wife anymore and selfishness has set in. Just cost me and the boys a family really. All I can do is keep some normality about the house for my boys and be there for them. Ty anyway for your response

I am so sorry for what you have been through with your spouse. I was in a 10 year relationship and we just could not hold on. It is rough for everyone involved. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here to help in anyway that I can.

Hi goodman72, the reason I belong to ep is because 16 years ago I found myself in your shoes with my best friend and had nobody to speak to about what to do in different situations. I have continued to walk this road of healing with her and sat in on her therapy sessions. I would be willing to answer any questions you have as we so often think one way and then find out later another way would of worked better etc. Please feel free to read my profile and blogs I have posted and then you can decided if you would like to friend me and we can talk on not such an open board. :)

Hope to hear from you soon

mpde

I'm sorry to say that my wife is now no longer my wife. Apart from the usual arguments in any relationship the altars left nots for each other constantly, putting her down or conspiring against her or me and in the end. Well, they won I guess. She or they planned it for a while then lied about it for a while the just up and told me one day she's going. She went from being a self supportive woman with 100% dedication to her family to being someone who had no self respect or drive. Buried herself in work to ignore the problems we have and I found out way too late to do anything about it. I gave it my all and in the end there really ain't much I can do. Sad but very real and true story. I've got two pictures taken seconds apart and the look in her eyes and the facial changes are evident and in the first pic was all smiles and playing with the two boys , the 2nd pic , let's just say she was staring me down. I knew some of them didn't like me but the so called young altars loved me. In the end she'll want back in as I know where what how when why and ******** on people for selfish gains gets you nowhere.

I wouldn't mind chatting but yeah she's gone now and left everything behind and I can't add you . Feel free to add me if you like

I am sorry you have gone through all of this. I can't add you either don't know why. But know this that I wish you everything of the best in your future.

mpde

Its all about the settings. Have a look on the website. The phone app doesn't give you much

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