I Love Her So Much And She Loved Me... But I Left.

This has been a rough day for me. I don't even know where to start. I guess I should say that I/we ended a 3yr long relationship with my girlfriend. After I started dating her I came out (I'm Bi) to my family and friends which came as a shock to most everyone I know. I made sure to tell her about my "others" and asked her to research for herself so she would know what she was getting into. She knows several of my alters and can tell when I switch and is usually able to bring me out of a switch when it's needed. She probably understood me more than anyone else in my life. Even so I left... I have this confusion as to why. I do know I was overwhelmed with even the most basic day to day tasks and I wasn't functioning well. She and I also couldn't agree on several things in our lives. Any "normal" person would stay and be able to work things out, right? I can't really remember the day I left, I know it was painful for us all (my others, myself and my partner). It's been a couple of months and every time I think things are getting easier and the pain is starting to fade... BAM... I am blindsided by this freight train of emotion.. sorrow, guilt, mourning, longing for her, confusion. Basicly the love I have for her... will not go gentle into that good night... so to speak. So I go about my day on this emotional roller coaster that I have built for myself. Up and down, left, right and upside down...

Hello, this is MD one of Cyn's male alters. Cyn's anxiety got the best of her. I don't know if I approve of posting these things online but she seems to think it will help Her and us to talk about things  We mostly made the decision to move back with Her parents. We feel her ex is better off without having to deal with Her problems. Her ex has a lot on her plate as it is and she had threatened to break up with Cyn before and did just that this past April when things in her(the ex) life was in turmoil with work, her child and her health. Cyn wouldn't accept this and kept after her to get back together, they did. Cyn forgave but WE did not forget. How could we be sure she would stick around when things got tumultuous for Cyn? Cyn could not take another abandonment, there is a unanimous fear of abandonment because of past experiences with other people in her life.

♥La Luna♀ Ya leave b4 we get left! Bcuz who has stuk around wen the going got really, really tough? Not 1 ******* person "Cyn" has fallen in luv with! 
DazedProtagonist DazedProtagonist
41-45, F
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

I'm sorry. :/
That sounds pretty tough. Specially when all of you are in different reasoning and feelings about the break up.