Lots Of Newbie Questions

hi rjsp,

Starting to write so everyone can respond is a great step to of taken and others alters can also write in the journal.
Wanting to get to know everyone on the inside is also a good attitude.
Going for therapy is helpful but..... please check befor you see anyone that they have experience with mpd/did. You don't need some self saying expert telling you it's all your imagination as it's a real condition and needs alot of understanding.
My best friend has mpd/did and I sit in her sessions with the therapist and she has grown alot in the period of 14yrs that we are friends.
I wish you everything of the best and you welcome to friend me and we can message each other as some things are too personal for everyone to know about.
Have a happy day today.

I am new with my DID. Still, for the last 30 years I have gained ground exponentially emotionally, mentally and spiritually (that's my emphasis - not pushing anything on ya). My first alter and complete transformation of body and mind happened yesterday. It is my understanding that therapy is critically important for me to be a whole person. I understand that getting to the root cause (trauma) and the first split is necessary to do this. I type well, but this entire scenario is and has been absolutely terrifying. Yet, I know that my life has been a mess and I am more incapable of functioning than ever and the only solution is to work through therapy. Fortunately, I have a good therapist. Don't skimp on this issue if you have not a therapist well qualified in this area. Don't be afraid to persist in finding the right one.

I asked my therapist about my children. "I'm always honest with them because I knew I had emotional problems, but what do I say/do about the DID?" Her response was, "They probably already know to a certain extent. As far as discussing the clinical aspect, just leave it alone for now." After careful thought, I realize my son already knows. Sometimes when I bark at him he looks at me in a distinctive uncertain way. it's as if he's familiar with the concept of needing to "check who is speaking to him". (Fortunately, I am very loving with my child overall and these episodes are not permanently damaging to him. Genuine love is very powerful and forgiving.)

One of my child alters showed up last night at home sitting at the table with my husband and daughter for the first time. She has a particular fascinating/reverence for my 5yo daughter's "prettiness". it all makes sense why I've always sort of honed in on my daughter's girlish nature even though I've always been a tomboy. Now, I can tell and watch my daughter's reactions. She reacts a certain way when the little girl shows up and reveres her beauty. In truth, it is subtle and is also very harmless.

I am SO RELIEVED. Things are beginning to make much sense. I don't want to die anymore because I have a foreboding sense that I can never gain full control of my life. I realize now how my alters have been sabotaging me and they're very slick about it. They "slip in" as I'm having a conversation and only a highly qualified therapist can point it out. The first time the therapist caught one of my alters doing this, it shocked the alter and also myself! The alter was caught redhanded and I was mortified to realize it wasn't me speaking. Meanwhile, my stomach hurt and my internals seemed to want to explode.

But now I go along in my life realizing why it is so difficult to concentrate on the activities at hand, why I go through so many mood swings (I can have a whole bunch of switches within a few minutes). I don't black out. I'm co-conscious through it all which really causes SO MUCH ANXIETY. I'm so relieved to know the anxiety I suffer is not my own personal defect, but a struggle coming from within me that I have had no control over.

Therapy is the point to learn how to live with all this. Good luck to you and thank you for reading the words of another newbie. I recommend you not fight it. Get a good therapist and trust the process. The relief is worth it.

Hello rjsp. If you'd like to talk I'm willing to "listen."

I forgot to say thanks in advance for any help or advice...im eagerly awaiting any teplies as this feels really weird to me andi know there are lots of people out there with different opinions. The most confusing one is whether i should see a professional or not. Waiting lists can be really long but i think my mom might know where to get in for same day counselling. Health care is free here (Canada). But Ive read warnings against therapists too. :( and Ive never been able to stick to one more than a few sessions.

One that ive been thinking about alot is a hypnotherapist who helped me alot. Does anybody have experiences about hypnosis theyd like to share?

And a bit more about me: i definitely had the symptoms big time when i. Was working but i had a nervous breakdown in'06 and have been on assistance since. I have done alot of self care and self talk work since then. A few days ago i did a hypnosis for "fractured soul retrieval" (found it on youtube) and felt amazing after. I did a bit more work with that and thats basically what i think led to the dream of being that other girl. She lookedand acted completely different than me, and i actually think ive dreampt of her before.

Looking back i can pinpoint alot of strange things in my life that make me think ive got DID although i dont hallucinate or lose time nearly as much since i used to.

And since the other day whe i started inviting them to make themselves known and communicate with me, it seems like they dont want to shut up which is cool lol but i feel like im in over my head and if im not careful my depression will take over. And i cant afford to let that happen.

I need to talk i guess lol. Feel free to pm me or add me or comment. Thanks :)