Hi All

My story, lets see.  I was diagosed 4 years ago and fortunaly live in Michigan where Fores View hospital is only about 17 miles away.  So I have been getting good treatment with Colin Ross's program since then.  I am currnetly working on intergrating with 3 of my alters.  Threre are 11 of us all together.  Right now I am having a hard time with what I have learned about Janine(my 16 year old alter).  What her morals are and what mine are completly clash.  So I am having a hard time accepting that she is a part of me, actually me.  As far as I go, I am 35 married for going on 10 years.  I have a step daughter 21 and a daughter 12 and a grand daughter 2 1/2.  My life used to be "normal", I had a good job and just thought that everyone heard voices and lost time.  Then everything just got really bad.  I was in the hospital about every three months for 3 years and was finally able to go from last July until April with out ending up in.  But with everthing that has been hitting me I have been in for just abut the whole spring and summer.  But thank goodness thats over now.  I have a better outlook on things and finally see progress that has been made.  Not just those little baby steps they always talk about.

I don't know if this is what I was to share about, but I hope it helps you get to know a little bit about me.  I am on-line almost every day and am excited about finding this site.  I look forward to getting to know you guys and just having some more people to talk to that can relate to what I am going through.


God Bless each of you,



allofmetessera allofmetessera 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 22, 2008

Your Response



Thank you for your willingness to discuss this matter in more depth. I have depression and mild schizophrenia, but not DID. However, I am very interested in learning more about the affliction (is that the right word?). I'll start with a few basic questions if you don't mind. Please do not think I am making light of your condition, I just want to fully understand it. If any of these questions hit too close to home, feel free to refuse to answer.

I understand from your initial post that you have 11 alters. I want to ask, are you all aware of one another? That is, does each alter know that the others exist, or are any of your alters unaware that there are others?

If any are aware there are others, do you communicate amongst yourselves? What is this like?

Can you consciously "give over" to an alter, allowing them to emerge?

I take it from what you have said that you "blackout" when an alter is dominant. Are there any instances in which you have been able to experience what the alter is doing but unable to interfere? Do other alters know what has happened and fill you in?

You have 11 alters. May I ask who they are and a little about each of them?

Do any of your alters speak a foreign language that you, yourself, do not speak?

Are any of your alters of a different ethnic background? Or a different gender?

If the above is true, I can only imagine that this has caused issues. Do you feel comfortable describing them?

You say that Janine's morals are less stringent than your own. Has this ever resulted in a problem?

My last question for now: How does Janine feel about the fact that she is not in school? I suspect that she may not care one way or the other, but I'm curious; has she ever tried to go to school?

whtknt, I would enjoy talking to you and I have no problem with it being here. If I fell it is something too personal, I will want to e-mail it to you privately. Thank you for the reply.


Tessera, I would like very much to know more about your condition. I have many questions about DID, but some are of a very sensitive and personal nature. Would you be willing to answer my questions honestly, and if so, would you like for me to post them here, or is there a more private venue you would prefer?