I Come From A Broken Home And Broken Parents.

My Mom and Dad were childhood neighbors, they started dating in their teens and married when Mom was 16 and Dad was 21. Then came my two older brothers, and then me, the little girl they always wanted. My Dad always had good jobs, inmediately bought us a little house and everything seemed to be perfect. In the early 70's when I was 1 year old he got involved with the wrong crowd and started using heroin, back when heroin was a rock star glamorous drug. Back then I guess there wasnt enough information about it like now so my Mom never tried to get him to stop. As the years went on so did his addiction and he ended up selling our house and everything in it and leaving us on the street, he simply abandoned my Mom who had never worked along with 3 kids.

He would live for long periods at his moms house, 6 houses away from our maternal grandpa where we ended up living since he sold he house. But he wouldnt seek us, give us any kind of finantial support or be a part of our lives whatsoever. The best years of my life were when Mom took us to live with my Aunt in San Diego while she worked as a full time housekeeper, I would only see my Mom on her day off and would seldom see my Dad. They would reconcile and then break up again until when I was 14 that's when they split for good and my Mom then became very bitter. My Dad totaly lost himself in his addiction and my Mom started acting like a teen with no responsabilities going out and having her share of boyfriends, she worked and supported us but like my Dad was never there for us. We had no guidence, no orientation, no good examples to follow, nothing. Just pain, grief and a huge sense of abandonment and not belonging.

I dont have any photos of our family together my Dad tore those up, no memories of any Christmas or birthday were my parents were together with us, nothing. I have been married for 18 years and it has been a roller coaster, I've gone through some awful things with my husband but being from a broken home makes me stay so that I dont put my own kids through what I went through. Sometimes, on special occasions like Christmas I still cry because even though I have a husband, 3 wonderful kids, a house which is a home and a finantially stable life, I still have that awful emptyness that my parents left when they split and emotionally abandoned us, nothing can fill the void a secure family life should.

I dont even know why they split, it's not like they were better off separated. My Mom has had a live in boyfriend who is a drunk that cant keep a job for the last 19 years and my Dad died of AIDS in 2006. That's the little 'bonus' he got from heroin. And what really makes me sad and angry is that both my brothers followed his addiction footsteps. Their lives are a mess, they're a couple of bitter, angry, addicted fortysomething loners with no family of their own. They still live with my Mom.

BajaMon BajaMon
36-40, F
1 Response May 10, 2010

omg.. I can totally understand what you must be feeling :(<br />
Just make sure you talk to your husband alot and be in good terms with him for your kids. Life is short make good use of it.