I was a happy kid. We had just moved into a beautiful country house in a nice subdivision. I had my best friend next door and plenty more down the street. My house was the best. It was big, beautiful... my life was great. The biggest worry I had was the snotty girl down the street and her little sister, harassing me when I walked by. Then my life turned up-side-down.

My dad started getting hooked on all this mystical hubba bubba. We agreed he was having a mid-life crisis, my mother and I. He started going off to conferences in different countries, going on chat rooms about birthcharts and stars. One day he went to a conference in the USA. He was gone three days. How was I going to know that that trip would change my life forever. i don't remember the night he came back, but i remember the next morning . . .

The next morning, I woke up and watched Spongebob Squarepants on TV. My parents called me and my brother downstairs, saying we needed to "talk". I grouchily got up from the couch and slumped downstairs, sure it was another lecture about not doing enough chores, or watching too much TV. We sat down and I notice my parents sitting further away from each other as usual. They told me my father was going to be sleeping in the basement for a while. My mom said it was temporary, but my father rudely grunted as if to say "yeah-right". Tears streamed down my face as thoughts swirled in my head. "What's going on?" "What's going to happen?" "What if they get divorced?" No. I wouldn't believe it. For me, divorce was up there with death on the tragidy scale. Something that only happened in movies. I convinced myself that my parents were gonna be fine. I still believed it when my parents wouldn't talk to each other. I still believed it when they argued. I still believed it even when my father moved out to housesit a friend's house. Then he told us about her. A woman he met at the conference, came from a differnet country. She was 13 years younger then my father. He claimed he met her and it was love at first site. Something else that only happens in movies. They shared a room at the hotel that the conference was held. After hearing about her, I never forgave my father. I was sure he cheated on my mother. Sure he found someone younger, better and who gave him better sex. I was convinced that my father had been turned cruel, evil by the likes of that woman. She stole my father. She knew he was married, knew he had kids. And she couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand that there was a single man in the world that she couldn't have. She needed to know that she could steal him, no matter how happy he was. No matter how many people's lives she ruined. And so she did it. She walked up to him, seduced him and made him fall for her. Together they ruined lives, standing hand in hand, watching as they lost friends, family, money. They seemed oblivious to the distruction around them, caught up in their little happy bubble. My brother and I got neglected. Thrown aside as if nothing. For 2 years they lived inside their little bubble as my mom struggled to pick up the pieces.

My father moved four times in two years and my mother moved twice. He complained and whined, ordered me and my brother around. He would buy us things, but show us no affection. I started to hate my father. Then just recently, he decided to try and get closer to me. Tried to be a better father. Wanted us to be a family, with me, him, my brother and that woman. But while he was in his bubble, I grew up. I'd changed. And like a tree growing up with two supports, then has one taken away, you learn to depend on that one support that stayed with you. Helped you, while the other neglected you. You grow against it and, like the tree, you grow to become one with the support. That support was my mother. She was amazing. Yeah, she vented, but during a very hard time for her, me and my brother were still her first priorities. While her health diminished, she struggled at work and with money, she was always wondering how we were coping. And so I grew closer to her and my father and I grew apart. By the time my father wanted to be a family, I was practically gone. He didn't understand. He didn't know anything about me, and I just gave him short answers. And even now, months later, he still tries to connect. But he left me out in the cold wordl. He neglected me. He betrayed me. And I will never be able to fully forgive him.

But soon, I realized that it was the past. Nothing I could do would change my past. I realized how foolish I was being. I'm on my way to forgiving my father ( This part is edited, and i semi-regret saying some of the things I posted in this article earlier.) because it makes no sense to live mourning over what could have been. This is my life now, why not make the best of it. my father is still my father and my mother is still my mother. I still love them both.
FreezingFire FreezingFire
1 Response Jul 13, 2010

I went through almost the same thing... I'm glad you're making the best out of a bad situation now, thats what I did too. It was tough as first but it gets better! :)

Thank you :)