Do They Still Love Me?

I have posted this question before, but I haven't got any answers that could help me out. So, I'm putting the question here.

My parents are seperate, but they are not divorced yet. They have their own new lives now. I mean their partners. I feel like they are so fake when they tell me that they love me. In fact, I'm not very sure if they really do. It's just that everything is changed. I have some mental issues and feel like my world is falling apart... How would I know if they still love me as much as they did? I have thought about killing myself. Would they care??
itsallinmyhead itsallinmyhead 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 13, 2011

Your Response


Sometimes it is other people's limitations or inability to handle life and not about you personally. Don't think they are not loving or thinking about you they may just be overwhelmed by life too. Remember we are all struggling in some way or another. I hope you find your peace and love yourself too.

Simple Answer: YES! Your parents love you and would be very upset if you were to die. No matter what kind of relationship you have with them, or how they treat you or ignore you, a parent doesn't just stop loving a child. They may be selfish, they may appear to love other people more, they may not show it- but a parent always loves there child.

More complex thoughts on the subject: While your parents may not be divorced yet, there lives (and yours) have changed, and the emotional stress sounds about the same. My parents have been divorced for over ten years, and sometimes i still affects me. I've learned to grow, adapt and be happy- but that doesn't mean pain just goes away or relationships just renew themselves. It will never stop affecting you, in all honesty. But it will make you the person that you are, and you choose how to deal with that.

Both of my parents are remarried- so i feel where you are coming from with there "new partners." My Dad remarried about a year or two after the divorce. She already had a son, and he moved to a different State to live with them. Now they have two more children together. Trust me, THAT'S when you really begin to question a parents love. I'm the leftover child from his first life, and my half sibs are his re-do kids. It's always better the second time around!

My mother remarried about four years after him. My stepdad didn't have any kids and they don't have any together. (THANK GOD) But still, my step dad is an ***. He has never dealt with kids before, he is very selfish and i don't think he was quite prepared to live with three teenagers. They go on vacations all the time- just the two of them and basically have a life together, and then a life with us.

I'm not gonna lie- i don't really question weather or not my Mom loves me. Sometimes i feel a little bit of jealousy (or something) when she takes trips without me, etc... But it's fine. My Dad however, most definitely loves his new family more. I think the only thing to do about it is accept it. And i'm not saying i think YOUR parents love you any less. But even if you think that for a second they do, then you can hear how i handle it.

Sometimes i like to read articles about divorce. Statistics, ect... because i hate it and how much it's affected my life. I like to relive all the bad memories that make me sad. I like to list in my head all the reasons i think my Dad likes the 1/2 sibs better. Basically, i like to wallow, and i like to cry, and i like to throw myself a pity party alone. I also love to write down all of my feelings and get everything straight in my head. THEN, when i'm done. I am able to let go. I have been wronged, things in my life have been unfair, and it's due to my parents selfishness. But they are my parents. And people have had worse. They still love me- even if i don't feel it sometimes. And there isn't anything i could do about it now- and if i could, would i? I don't wish this to happen to ANYONE else, but would i change my own life? I'm not so sure... it makes me who i am. It's made me more mature and more adult. It's given me insight. I now know how serious marraige is and how much it can screw up a kid- so i'm going to be a better mother for it one day. And a better wife. I now have more insight on how to live my life. I am stronger. Without pain, how would we know what's good in life?

It sucks that you feel this way. It sucks that you have to deal with these things. Nobody can ever fully understand how you feel. But i can tell you- that it's not fair. You have had to deal with things that you shouldn't have. But i respect you for it. I think you are braver and stronger than most people will ever realize. But what are you going to do about? Make yourself better, or set yourself back? Let yourself be sad and feel every feeling and emotion you have- cry and let yourself know that it isn't fair. But at the end of the day know that you are truly happy. And if you aren't find a person to talk to that makes you happy. Make the changes in your life, to make you happy.

SIdenote- i should probably give you the very cliche advice of bringing it up to your parents. I however, am a horrible communicator and never do. So i think it's up to you if you do or not. But it very welll could help! Approach them with "I feel..." Not with blame and anger. They love you, so they will probably make some changes to let you know it.


sorry if i ramble... i hope at least something i said helped.