Completely BlindsidedIf you had asked me even just a week ago how likely I thought it was that my parents would ever get divorced, I would have told you that it was completely inconceivable to me, it would never happen. They certainly frustrated each other at times, but considering that all they had been through, all we had been through as a family, I just never thought it would happen. Now, the divorce isn't official, but both of them would tell me its more likely than not.
I tried to prepare myself for this over the past week, as my father just seemed to completely isolate himself and my mother seemed to talk wistfully about life after my father. But even then I didn't think it would come down this fast. "Doesn't think this will work out", "Don't want the same things anymore", "someone new", "new adventure", you never would have heard those things in that house last week. Its bizarre.
Right now I'm trying to be the cheerful one but neither are receptive, understandably I guess. But I'm just completely blindsided, I have no idea what this is going to mean. We were always a really tight-knit family, went through a lot different medical and financial problems. It was at a point where I worried that they were getting too attached as I got older, but the comfort then was, well, if I want to go off on my own for a while, at least they'll have each other. And now that's completely out the window. I look back and I can see where and how they would have frustrated each other, and I feel like I should have just called them on it, and maybe they would have toned it down. But I just thought that was between them and I shouldn't interfere. They'd hung on for 30 years, right? Even then, I never in a million years would have guessed that it would kill the marriage.
For all this rambling, I guess I'm just wondering, how does an older adolescent/young adult deal with divorce. I've been talking to a lot of my friends who went through divorce, but what most of them point out is that for them it happened when they were younger, they didn't have that "perfect family" dynamic for so long and the divorce just became the new normal as they were growing up. So I guess I'm looking at it from an older, more aware position. Less angry but more sad.
DesolationRow 22-25 25 Responses 3 Jul 18, 2011