Divorce Is Hell

I was 4 years old when my parents divorced. My mom was the one who wanted to go, she couldn't stand my dad's business. He works on computer programming and my mom never thought that it would make him any money. After that day when my mom came home from work with all of my things stuffed in crates my life has been a constant hell hole. At first I was depressed and I could only see my dad every other weekend and to make things worse he had a new girlfriend. At first it wasn't so bad because they didn't put me in the middle so much. But as the years wore on it got worse my dad lost his house because of my mom and, at one point I was going to daycare and my babysitter got into our business. She kept telling me that divorce was for the better for both parents but I never really thought that was true since for the last twelve years they've been fighting and taking each other to court constantly. My dad never really ever made any good money, he struggles constantly with money and my mom is always taking him to court and asking for more, even though she gets about three hundred dollars in child support a month.
After my dad lost his house he was always moving around to different locations, following dreams that never came true. I've always felt bad for him because he's barely able to make a living. My mom has always been trying to find out where he's been living and when I was young I would always tell her because I never knew any better. But then around when I was ten I toughened up and always hesitated and asked my dad for permission first. He never gave it and so eventually this led to fights between my mom and me, she would always threaten me and then I would try to isolate myself from her and sit in my room and cry.
Now my mom is still doing the same thing but now my mom is serving my dad with papers in front of me and using me as bait. I hate it. Last year I got so mad at her that I told her I hated her. Recently though it has been getting worse, and every year that goes by it get's worse and worse. Now my dad want's my mom to serve him so that he can sue her, take away her house, and put her in jail. And his been 12 lousy years, and neither of them can hold out for two more years.
I never resented my dad before now, but I've always loved both of them, no matter how much they upset me. My mom has been a pain for years but she wasn't all bad and whenever the matter didn't concern, divorce or my dad she was actually not that bad. And I've always felt bad for my dad and loved him, he tries to make me happy but right now I'm not seeing the love. The problem is that they are both so selfish, my dad just cares about getting his revenge and all my mom seems to care about is seeing him pay her off. Neither of them ever consider how I feel, and I hate it.
lapcat95 lapcat95
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 20, 2011

I am sorry to say this.. You have f-up parents.<br />
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Get away. As soon as you can. No relatives that can take you in? Maybe that is too much to ask for.<br />
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I am a deevorced Dad. For 11 years now. My kids have NEVER been put in the middle of thecrap that went on between their Mom and I. Did she and always agree on what we should do? Nope. But... the kids came first. I still see them every other weekend, and every Wednesday night. We are currently in Europe on a 10day whirlwind trip to London and Paris. And having a great time. Am i doing fine finacially? Nope but that's how it is. Two more years and one baby is off the record, in five, both are. Then I can recover financially. What ever. Kids come first.<br />
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Take care,<br />

That's so sad that your parents put you in the middle like that. How awful for you! :(