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Difficult To Take Sides

My mother left my father when I was about 6 years old and I didn't understand any of it then.  As an adult, I think I understand why, although my mother never speaks of him.  I understand but I don't necessarily know if I agree with her decision.

My mother left and I think that she was waiting for the begging and pleading for her return and the sad part is, it never came.  In the meanwhile, we, my sister and I, developed an odd relationship with my father, punctuated by sporadic visits which my mother controlled.  In my faded memories, mother used us to punish and hurt.  At least that's what I remember. 

But my memories may be skewed.  You see, in spite of all that was said, and all that I now know is true, I always lived in secret adminiration for my father.  He looked really nice when he was all dressed up for work.  He exuded a whole heap of confidence and he seemed to attract a lot of people (I guess that is part of what my mother hated).  I watched from my little corner his interactions with people and I thought he was fantastic. Charming, Debonair.   I saw his skill with handling his financials and I wanted to be like him.  He was not a rich man but he seemed to understand about investments and growing his nest egg. 

Today, I see him often and make sure that he has a relationship with my children.

Sadly, I don't think that my mother will ever understand why she never got my support in her "I hate my ex-husband" campaign. 

I couldnt'.  In spite of our limited interactions in my youth, I quite simply like the man.
neopet neopet 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2011

Your Response


When divorcing parents use thier children to try to justify their position it hurts everyone. I'm glad you value your father despite the animosity between him and your mother. Fights are always two sided. Do you also value all that your mother poured into her children in the face of tough times for her?