Seperation ...

My parents separated last year ... even though i was expecting it i found it hard to deal with , it had already happened a few times in the past but i was to young to remember , my dad walked out on us , my older sister and brother had already moved out so it was just me left to pick up the pieces , it was really hard .. I used to have to come home everyday to find my mum on the floor crying and saying she wanted to die.. She had to go on a lot of anti depressants and anxiouty tablets , so it was if she wasn't even there sometimes , so in a lot of ways i had to step up mature , look after myself and my mum , a year from now shes stil not over it , and in an even worse position , she is torturing herself and mentally destroying herself , she has completly drained me of energy , i try my best , but nothings ever enough , my relationship with my dad has been a bit rocky , because i found it hard to accept that he had a new girlfriend but i love him enough to have come around . But my mum always stops me seeing him and it's so unfair ,  i can understand that she is hurt , but its hurting mewhen she stops me seeing him . The thing is since my dad left , he pays no maintenance because he gave the house to my mum and pays the mortgage ..and i know that he really doesn't have other money thats why i hate it when she pressures him , he only tries his best , he had his reasons for walking out and i understand them because alot of things hadnt been right for a few years and home was just a warzone . but my grandpa and mum said to me if i carried on seeing him i wasnt welcome home anymore ,  i refused so they chucked me out , it was realy hard cause it was at night and i live in the country side so i had to phone me dad , and i will never forget or have the same respect for my mum and my grandpa doing that to me , i may forgive them and be back with them , but i went back home only for them to do the same thing , or for me to go to my dads a weekend , and for my mum to txt me to say not to come home , and i never know where i am , i have no stability and i hate it , all i want to do is get away from them both ..
Luucianna Luucianna
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 6, 2012

Luucianna, I just read this... I am sorry your mom and grandfather told you if you saw your father you'd be kicked out. Wow... this whole situation is dysfunctional. You at the very least need some time away from your mom to get your bearings and look at your choices. <br />
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You need some stability. Can you live with your dad? Does he know how bad things are for you right now? I know it must be hard to see him date, etc., and I applaud your maturity in being open to accept this. I replied to your email as well, so I won't expand any more here.<br />
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This is a such a valuable lesson that shows what can happen when people think of themselves more than their children in this situation. Arragh! No matter WHAT your problem is with your spouse, unless he/she is abusive etc., do NOT try to ruin their relationship with their mother/father. <br />
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Hang in there, smart girl :)

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