You Left Me Behind Dad, 10 Years Later And I Am Still Lost.

You were never really here, never really available
You fell out of practice, you havent loved me in so long
We were just a family photo for you to show around
To make it seem that we were all normal
You would parade around this false idea of what
You wanted people to see you as
You had your own problems as I am well aware
You vanished dad, you went far away from me
Moved many miles away, but within the reach of a call
You forgot how to act out your family routine
You wanted so badly to be normal as I do now
You wanted to leave this earth, even before I was here
You always had these demons in you
I know the fight you had, the will you never had inside you
I am the image of you, I too am dead
I always fought for you, bleeding fingers grabbing onto all of you before you faded
I always dreamt you were coming back, never thought my nightmares would become real
Dad you just went away, never came back
You blamed me for everything, told me it was my fault you left
You have a new daughter now I know you don't know I am aware of your new family
You never came back, I was waiting for you, everynight I left the door unlocked
I was a little girl daddy, I was your princess your little girl
You ripped the wings off my back, the pink ribbons fell, the princess wand broken
You tore my childhood away from me, you took everything with you when you left
You took apart of me, a part I can't seem to get back, a hole is in me now
A dark void where your presence once filled big and bright
I want you to know how much I hurt, that I cried writing this
That I spilt my blood,sweat and tears into forming the words
That you will never read.
I wish you knew the damage you left behind the pure agony
Of having to live a new life without you, I never wanted to do that
I am so lonely, dead and so sad
I am trying to live the dream I never had
Dad you were everthing to me

You were everything to me
Now you are gone, you just.....left

These demons will be the death of me,
They will slowly eat away my soul,
These demons will come up and never go back down
Until they have consumed me and spit be back out
You know these demons well
You have them inside you as I do too
These are the demons you have left behind
For me to fight off alone, I don't think I can win this one dad
Can you please come back one last time and take this one for me
Take on this war, and fight for me again
Please take this war, take this away from me
If you can't fight this war, can you at least take me
Take me, please dad take me.
Bring me home, bring me somewhere safe
Just please I am begging you to take me away from me
Just come and swoop me up in your strong arms
Put the wings back on, the pink ribbons in my light brown hair
And give me back my Princess wand.
Come back dad, you forgot something
You forgot .... me.
Shawnnas Shawnnas
22-25, F
3 Responses Jun 14, 2012

youre welcome if you need any help ill be more than happy to help ..just message me

I'm a dad who left someone behind & I'm crying now.....

Can you relate to this? Or the person you left behind perhaps?

goodnight this is tense umm can i tell you what ive learned .. i learned that things happen for a reason the word of God says When my father/ mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.” (Psalm 27:10) The lord wants to have you he wants you as his daughter he wants to give you that father daughter relationship you never had with your dad ..He loves you he wants to try your tears and make you whole again ill keep you in my prayers........Luv you :)

Thank you, this means more than you can imagine.