Stuck In The Middle 'without' You.

"I don't feel that I can live here anymore". At least he had the guts to tell us himself as my mum cried and held onto one of my brothers. It took my breath and hurled my world into a frightening, cold and unfamiliar place where everything I thought I knew started to disintegrate around me. This was the start of a very long summer.
18 months ago my parents split up and since then their lives have consisted of little other than depression, stress, conflict, dishonesty and sleepless nights. The constant debate over the latest solicitor's letter or what he said or she's done now. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I disagree. Over the past 18 months I have seen this experience destroy my mum and slowly hack away at my father's soul. Goodbye happy ending, hello extensive and hostile legal battles and financial disputes. My parents rarely speak to each other and on the odd occasions that they do the conversation is abrupt and usually disintegrates into an argument or someone ends up crying within a matter of minutes.
It may sound selfish or immature, but where do we fit into all of this? My parents seem so conflicted in that they always go on about 'what's best for the children' or 'not dragging the children into the middle of all this'. Forgive me but all 4 of us feel very much in the middle when all they do is fight over who gets to 'have' us when which is then compounded by the casual guilt tripping and emotional manipulation that always leaves us divided, emotional and lonely.
People tell us things will get better and that time is the best healer; all we have noticed is patience decreasing, tiredness increasing and an ever growing list of things for my parents to not communicate about.
Given this account I put to you, how is a girl supposed to deal with this? Constantly trying to mediate between 2 parents who refuse to talk to each other whilst trying to comfort and convince younger siblings that they are loved and cared about even though they feel angry, ignored and confused. As my youngest brother put it- "I like you're hugs and chats, but it's never going to fix mum and dad".
1moore 1moore
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

I was stuck in the middle of my parents divorce too. It sucked! I have 3 older brothers an they all lived away from home so I was the only one there, I was always the topic of argument. I gave up something I deeply loved because of their selfishness! It's not selfish of you to think what your thinking! Parents think they're doing the right thing 'for the children' when really they have no idea that they're making it so much worse! I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.