My Dad called me two weeks ago.

After 25 years of marriage my parents are getting a divorce. I'm about to be 22. Here's the thing though. The kicker. I'm not upset by this (my friends and boss were more shocked than I was), that alone upsets me. My Dad expects me to be upset, but... I'm just not. I knew it was coming. Saw it coming. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I can't tell him that I knew it was going to happen some day, granted I didn't think it was going to happen now but who ever does? I know the reason why. He doesn't. It sucks, but, I'm not going to tell him why. I feel that it is my Mom's job to tell him, not mine. I already told both of my parents that I am not picking sides between them (and I told my Mom that Dad at least deserves to know why his marriage has failed and that she needs to tell him). I am 21, live on my own, have a car and everything. I'm old enough to rationalize through this and I am not picking between them. I love them both deeply and to death. No matter who asked for the divorce or what happens.

I'm not going to tell one parent what the other said, and I think I have to actually spell that out for my dad. I'll listen to the both of them, especially since I am the only one in the family who knows so far (and I feel that I am the only one who is going to be neutral about this). They need me to talk to. Which is fine. I have no problem with that.

I'm going to see them tomorrow and I don't know what to do/say to my Dad. I know that sometimes you have to lie the ones you love to protect them, and I guess that is just what I'm going to have to do. Tell him I'm sad and everything. Because I don't want him to be hurt and upset about this, about how I knew and didn't tell him.

This is going to be hard and tiring over the next few months but, it's what needs to be done.

ChaoticGarden ChaoticGarden
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 10, 2009

Yeah, the hard part right now is having to keep the fact I knew it was coming from my Dad, because he had no clue. :/ Thank you!! I'll try not to let them! XD

I can sympathise with what you are going through - my parents split after 20yrs of marriage when I was 18 - just after I had left home.<br />
Its still hard in alot of ways - but easier being older I think. Like you I saw it all coming - my reaction was of relief more than anything else. What was harder, for some reason, was Mum getting married again.<br />
Best of luck moving through this - dont let them lean on you too heavily because its hard work on you!

Thank you. I feel like the parent sometimes in this situation XD