Wasnt I Worth It?

wasnt my life and future worth it to you to work it all out?

was me having to switch schools every half a year worth it ?

was me having to choose between two people i love worth it?

are my grand children having a boken family worth it?

was my wedding, which will have to be in some obscure place to accomodate both of you worth it?

were my tears worth it?

was my loss of family worth it?

 

was it REALLY worth it? was it really that difficult to grin and bear it....for me? for my life?

misskrissywithaK misskrissywithaK
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 20, 2009

wow! thank you so much. <br />
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i have no doubts about my own future marriage. i tend to try and learn from other's mistakes...so hopefully i will be more responsible than my parents. and when i say "i do" i will be absolutely certain, and if i have any doubts, those words will not escape my lips. i am engaged to be married in around a year and i beleive with all of my heart that my marrige will be successful. my fiance and i are both give-and-take kinds of people, and are willing to sacrifice some of our own happiness for the other... so i really have no worries...<br />
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thanks so much for your opinion...i really am so greatful for your words!!! this site really is a godsend!

MissKrissywithaK - wow! You have just experienced A divorce between your parents but divorce after divorce and not handled too well, I think.<br />
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You are very generous not to harbor some animosity toward your parents - you feel secure in their love for you - good! But, and I don't want to sound judgmental, they didn't handle things very well with regards to you and your sister and all of those other children that got involved in the mix.<br />
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I don't think your thoughts are selfish AT ALL! You have ample reasons to be upset and angry - it just shows maturity when you see the other side so generously and with such forgiveness.<br />
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You have been through a lot and I dare say it has forced you to grow up fast. I hope that your heart isn't hardened to the possibility of forever love for yourself. I know that if you ever find yourself in an unhappy marriage - you will know exactly how your kids feel and you will strive to handle things differently!<br />
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Wow, I am amazed at what a strong young woman you are! Your parents should be very proud!<br />
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And I think you have given me a great deal to think about!

oookay. heres my take on the whole issue. i love my parents, and i have never said anythign like this to them. they honestly have no idea how i really felt about it...no one really asked, but im not one to be confrontational. i want them both to be happy, i really do. <br />
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another thing that adds to my animosity towards divorce is the fact that both my mother and father have been married several times since. i was expected to accept and love these new family members ( and i did) i fell in love with some of these people...some of them had kids my age whom i grew to know as siblings. and then in the bl<x>ink of an eye, those people who i had grown attatched to were ripped violently from my life. <br />
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i distinctly remember one of my mom's ex husbands. his name was bill and i loved him. when he moved in with us, i began calling him dad (because my real dad and i were not on speaking terms at the time) and he had a daugther my age and a son who was my younger sister's age...<br />
about four years after their wedding, my sister and i came home from school to find that the majority of our family was missing. <br />
i remember crying for days and my sister crying for months...and we never saw them again...we didnt even get to say goodbye to our loved ones. <br />
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a similar situation happened with my father and one of his ex wives. <br />
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i have 2 siblings whom i have never laid eyes on.<br />
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so yes. i do hold some very dark feelings in my heart...because of prices i had to pay for bad choices that werent mine...<br />
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BUT i would never let either of my parents know that i harbour these feelings. i would never want them to know because i know that they do truly care about and love me. this is not a fact that i doubt in any way.<br />
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i am 19 years old. yes, i am young. but thats not to say i am naive to the real world. <br />
i am a strong girl, with a big heart that has been broken many times...and i have been through alot in my short years...<br />
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this site is helpful for me because i am a venter...sometimes i just have to get things off my chest. however selfish those things may be. thats not to say i would ever say these things to anyone in confrontation. <br />
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i am fully aware that my thoughts are selfish. fully aware. <br />
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thank you both of your comments, i really appriciate your feedback!!!

Sleepless, you may be right (and I am certainly glad to read the other side of things), but I believe Miss Krissy is hurting and needed to vent and I was also glad to read her take on her parents divorce. I know that I can write somethings and vent and then look back and maybe not totally agree with it all - but she can't help her feelings - she can only control what she does with those feelings.<br />
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I also wonder if you were older when your parents divorced. And I think you are older than Miss Krissy now, but I don't any of that for sure.<br />
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I guess i would say, Sleepless, that I appreciated what you had to say about your impressions, but I thought the way you said it was a little harsh and unfeeling. Compassion is a huge thing for me, so I hurt for Miss Krissy when I read her story and I also don't want you to get offended with my comment on your comment, so I hope that I accomplished both - guess I will see, huh??<br />
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: )

I don't know if you have read my other posts - but I am currently in a very unhappy marriage - do you think that you would have been better off if your parents, as you said, just grinned and beared it until you were, let's say, college age AND if they had an amicable parting of the ways - one that they had agreed upon years before so that there wouldn't be any anger and animosity for the children to have to "referee". My children are my top concern and I keep thinking if I can grin and bear it and they only experience a tranquil home with no loud arguments and family meals and family outings until they are much older, would that be better for them??<br />
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If my husband stays exactly the same person he is today or worse (and none of it is abusive, etc... - long-term trust and partnership issues), I feel like once my children are out of the house, I will either die in this marriage from loneliness and unhappiness or I will have to get out. I want your honest input on this!<br />
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So far from my kissing story, huh?!