From Life As We Know Eternal Life In Heaven

After my husband and I established our lives in the South, I started making friends and really liked where i was in my life.  I have a sister and she is younger than i am.  She lived in Maryland and has 2 little girls.  She called me one day and asked my husband and i to consider moving back to the North because she was in some trouble and needed help.  After some long thought and prayer over the situation we decided to take the move and left everything we worked hard to get and brought our clothes and our kids and 2 cars and moved , just like that. 

My husband is a family guy and for my sister to say she needed me was a huge hurtle for her , (the strong type you know).  He said it was the right thing to do so we moved just like that. Leaving our southern comfort behind. 

When we got to Md. we discovered that the kind of help she needed was rehab. She purposely left a needle in a diaper bag once when i babysat just so she could tell me she had a problem.  She had been hooked on Baltimore's #1 killer HEROIN, .  Talk about shocked , hurt, scared, and threatened ; not cause of the drug but because of the fear of letting her down.  We now knew what we were here for.   She is 24 at the time and 2 kids living in a hard city with no father for either child and no good to ever cross her path , Yes she needed me, and i needed to do what i could to help her.

My husband took on a job that was 2 hours driving time away from where we were staying just so we could get her into rehab.  Until the money was right i sat for her while she went on so called jobs and made money that she claimed she was legal and just.  I held her when she went through withdraws and fought with her when she wanted to give up.  Finally we got her to a hospital and they said they could only keep her in for 3 days of in-treatment therapy, she cried and pleaded for more time off the street and told them she wanted more than just detox, she needed long term treatment and they turned her away still after 3 days.

We tried so hard for her and she tried as hard as she could too but it was not enough. She soon gave in to temptations and kept using. I couldn't keep exposing this in front of my own kids and hers were now being taken care of by a grandmother.  My husband and i decided to move to Pa and get out of the City and told her when she was ready to start clean to let us know but our kids needed to start school and we needed to make her help herself and when she was ready she could move in with us in Pa. 

She was mad and i didn't hear from her for a long time.  Then one day she called me and said she  was in jail and to her that was the best thing that could have happened and she was finally happy to be away from the drugs and the prostitution and was ready to be clean.  She would be there for three months and when she got out she would come to live with us and we would help her start a fresh life and get a real job and get her kids back. She praised God for what was going on and said it was an answer to her prayers.

We kept in touch and on the morning that she got out she called me i was going to go get her 2 hours away and bring her home with me but my phone died and i didn't know where she was exactly. So i charged my phone and waited for her call. excited that i would have my baby sister back and i could show her how a real family unit was and i could help her.  The next time i got a call was from Johns Hopkins and they said they had her in CCU, to come ASAP . Of course we went kids and all.

We got there in less than an hour and to my surprise the young women in the bed was not my sister, couldn't have been she was life less, bloated and cold.  So cold i thought she was dead. We found out that she had been without oxygen to her brain for 4 hours and she was only living because her heart had gone into cardiac arrest. Her other organs had shut down and a machine was breathing for her.  They said they would perform 3 tests in a 6 hour period to determine if there was brain damage and that these tests had to be done by inflicting pain, we couldn't be in the room for that reason. I was now her mother and her decision maker not her sister , not her hero, not her life line. 

My husband was the only person that made any sense to me. He knew just what to say when i needed to hear something . Just when to touch me when i needed a hand and just when to turn away when i wanted to die right along with her.  She was not just my sister she was my child, my baby, my life before all that i had now, she was everything to me and i was losing her . I had a choice to make for her. Would i let her go through the pain they had to put her through to get a response after all she had already put her through? Would i be selfish and try to keep her here with me and her babies if she didn't know who we were or what she was doing, would her babies need to see her like this?  If there was a response she would be in a home for the rest of her life on feeding machines and breathing machines and not be able to talk to us or her kids. What kind of life would that be, would it be torture for her, just so i could keep her a little longer? 

I spent the night with her in the hospital and i slept in her bed with her the nurse was great .  She talked to her as if Sheree would respond, treated her like she was really there. God bless her.  I lade on her chest looking at her face and every time the machine exhaled for her i blew my breath in her face hoping she would catch it and come out of this state. It didn't work but for 30 min. i slept and was at peace and i knew at that time she was there , i sang to her (we did that when we were kids) she didn't sing along this time. I knew it was over. 

By 4am the doc said they maxed out the med that were keeping her heart beating and that either she would go on her own or we could still wait until 6am for the last test. I called my mother who was in the hotel next door trying to rest (at my insistence) and i called my dad (who was home in denial) Neither one wanted to let go but it was time. 

The life that we knew before us was about to be over right in front of our eyes. I told the doctor to take her off the machine, No need for the last test she wasn't there she left in that 30min time of peace that i shared with her in her room that night. My mother was well a mother loosing her baby and i was the one who had to call the shots and i did. Did I want to ?No , was it easy to let go? Of course not. What was it like? We watched the numbers on a machine that showed a life beat... weather real or not they were hers they went from high to low nothing. The machine stopped her chest didn't rise up or go back down, she didn't gasp for air, she didn't fidget, or open her eyes, she was gone, then there was silence and an unusual Peace in the room almost unreal, like a battle was over , like a nasty taste gone from your mouth and a heaviness lifted. We held my mother as she wailed for a short time. Then peace over came us and we new she was in heaven.God never left my sister, He was right where she left Him and now lucky her , she is home with him in heaven, no more dumpsters, prostituting, or jails.She was saved at an early age and once you know the Lord that never leaves you . We all make mistakes and she new what hers were, the Word says to ask for forgiveness and He forgives us as far as the east is from the west. So yeah I know where she is and i have great peace about the hardest thing i have ever had to do. 

Sheree died of drug overdose with a mixture of cocaine and heroin. She was 24 and left 2 little princesses.

luvbugg77 luvbugg77
26-30, F
13 Responses Mar 27, 2007

I am a little confused about a particular line that this person wrote once her sister had just passed away. Hello, luvbug77. If you read this, please re-comment and help me to understand this one line quoted by you, : "Then peace over came us and we new she was in heaven.God never left my sister, He was right where she left Him and now lucky her , she is home with him in heaven..." I can understand you inner feelings to think this way after someone so important to you was now gone. The only question I have, is that, why do you mention how God DID NOT leave her, and she was finally back at home with him? from what I understood from that, it makes me question why her "home" is in heaven with God. I see the world and Our Homes here on earth, as our one and only "home". We were all given the "gift" of life. I believe we were all created for a reason. Your story is very touching and very mesmerizingm however I can't help but think that you are seeing the spiritual situation from a strange angle. When reading this story, I felt that your sister WAS somewhat let down by God. If God created us, then maybe if his actions were always in best interest to us, then I believe he would have caught your sister when she was falling. Everyone has problems. I for one, am a 19 year old boy, and I'm stuck completly on cocaine. I cudn't stop rite now if someone put a gun to my head and made me. I just would really like you to explain to me you're thoughts and response to that quote, and how you decided to feel the way you do about her being with God. If ANYONE would write me back, I would love to hear opinions or comments. I am taking the time to write this, so i clearly am in need of someones advice or thoughts or anything really. me email is PLEASE WRITE AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS.<br />
Thank You,<br />

thank you all so much for all your responses i feel like i have lost someone very dear to me but gained a whole new family , thankyou for your support and god bless all of you

you did the what you thought was right, at the end of the day that is all any of us can do. <br />
i feel for you hunny i have lost some really special people to drugs. <br />
stay strong xxxx

There is no hardest thing. Almost a test of your own maturity is how unacceptable and impossible a fact that you can understand. No matter how much you despise that fact that I am speaking about, you are slowly forced into accepting that it might make some sort of horrible sense.<br />
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To be honest, dealing with the death of a loved one is not nearly so horrific as giving up illusion and facing life for the death-dealing/pain-dealing thing that it is and still come out smiling, no matter how battered you are.<br />
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Those kids are probably messed up. Let your faith support you if that's what you need, although God calls upon us for self-determination. Whatever you rely on for strength, whether on yourself or a faith in Jesus. You will need it. Good luck to you and your attempt to help those children. Don't forget you have a family of your own.

You shared your horific experience with grace, and left your sister covered in a blanket of dignity. Stay strong for those nieces. God bless you.

this story brought tears to my eyes. thank you for sharing it. you must be an amazingly strong person. thank God that your sister is finally free and at peace, and that you know that you will see her again.

I am so sorry for your loss ..this is such a sad but touching story ...<br />
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I wish you all the best ...<br />
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what a massive decision to be placed on your shoulders .......

You were there for your family that night and I'm sure they thank you for it. My heart goes out to you and Sheree's 2 little girls. I hope you and your family have now left grief behind and are happy.

You are a strong women to have to of gone through that. I know your sister is there too. I wish all the best for you and your family.

We can only join the chorus... thank you for sharing such a profound aspect of your life. Words cannot express the emotions your story conjures-- our very best to you and your family.

once again i am responding to you. i too have shed a tear over this story. i felt like i was right there with you. you are a very strong woman. i hope i can gather some of that strength you are sharing..

Your story truly touched my heart in ways you can't imagine. I have cried reading this. You see June 11, 2000 my younger brother who was 23 died of a heroin overdose. He and I were very close. We shared a lot of secrets. The one thing about him I didn't know was that he was using heroin. He died at a friends house in fact his best friend of many years. He had stayed the night at his house on a Saturday night. Sunday morning his friend found him deceased. God Bless you and your family. You sound like you were an amazing sister to her and stood by her until the very end. What a beautiful and powerful story.

God bless you and your sister and your loving husband. I'm so sorry for your loss and the devastating decision you had to make. All is well, as you know. Your faith will carry you far in life, even if it doesn't seem like it, sometimes! Thank you for sharing your story!!!