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Ugh....

I'm so ashamed that I dropped out of school. And not just that but how many times I did it and the ages I was when all of this was going down. As a little girl my attendance was always kind of shaky. I didn't hate learning and schools activities and privliges. No, what I hated was being teased and treated like some loser. When my family moved from the city we had stayed in all my life and I had to change schools...I dropped out. I was only 11 years old. My mother and grandmother felt so bad that those kids at the new school treated me so poorly that they decided to try and find me a private academy to attend. Well, turns out they were all too expensive like I had predicted. So homeschool was the next option and I quickly jumped at it willing to do anything to not have to go back to school again. Homeschool was the worse though because it never worked out. My poor mother was going through rough times and didn't really have time to teach me. I didn't go back to school until I was 15 years old. I started off in the ninth grade with a 4th grade education and was actually doing pretty well with the exception of algebra class (I kept getting F's each and every grade point).

Old feelings, depression and the treatment I got from people caused me to drop out though once again. First semester I did very nicely and only had to repeat Algebra 1. It was all too much for me and I regret it to this day. The next time school began I didn't even immediately go back. It took me nearly 2 weeks to gather up the courage to step back into that Highschool. My attendance was at it's worst. I would miss weeks and weeks and by November I dropped out for good. It felt so bad, so stupid, so life draining to sit at home like that with nothing to do every single day. Some people worried about me, while others laughed knowing I was at home just getting fatter and more stupid. I was 17 years old and LOSING miserably!

When yet another school year came another I decided to go on and get my GED. Fear enveloped my body as I walked down the school halls awaiting any minute to be bullied and teased. Here I am 19 and still in the process of getting my GED and I feel bad yet very hopeful. They allowed to begin one college class since my writing was just that good. I hope I'm done with all this by the age of 21. These hard times seem to be getting harder all the time. I have many regrets but at least I'm still going....I must keep going.....
jesscharnelle jesscharnelle 22-25, F 1 Response May 17, 2011

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I can not help but to comment and to just please keep going. You are doing great ! You know only YOU can do it and YOU only.