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Shadows Of The Past

"I have spent much of my adult life flinching with pain as I tried to pull out the threads that bound the shadows of my past to me." - Lorna Luft

I've done things I regret. I've done things I'm not proud of. People know some of them - and they're not proud of it either.

I shudder at the thought of my past creeping up behind me. I shudder at the thought of my actions catching up with me. There are things - secrets - I keep to myself. And I plan to keep it that way. I'd never survive if they had to come out. I'm finished and done with much of it. I want nothing to do with it. I wish I could erase it all and pretend it never happened. I wish I could make it a clean slate. No guilt. No filthiness. No pretending. No lying. But it's not so simple.

Time can't erase it. Time can't wash away all I've said and done in a sea of sand and bury everything for good. Everything I've done is logged in a book in a place in my mind and it'll always be a shadow in the dark - haunting me present and future and little by little controlling what I do. There's always be a dark shadow following me and whispering mockery into my ears.
Floydess Floydess 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 20, 2011

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Neither do I (the sharing part). Maybe what's happens isn't the worst of things, but it's something I don't like. If one tries to change, I suppose that's a good thing. =]

I don't always like sharing my past. It's a dark and ugly place. I can't change the things I've done or my past but I choose to look forward and do good things with the rest of my life. I've done things I'm not proud of either but I am proud of me for changing my life and doing good things now.

I guess keeping your mind busy helps not to ponder on things. =)<br />
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Thank you very much, snowy174. And visa versa - if you ever need to speak, my door (or PM?) is open to you. Nice to know not everyone is judgmental. =]<br />
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Maybe haunt wasn't the best of words. Just... caution everything? =)<br />
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*hugs* Shukria yaar. =]

*hug*

we all want to erase mistakes we have done in our past. I don't think it could be that bad. don't let it haunt you because life will not be great.

we all make mistakes, and we all have regrets. i have done things i am not proud of to, and believe me i have made alot of mistakes. if you ever want to talk to someone bout it, or just want to talk to someone in general i am here. and i promise i wont judge you, thats not the kind of person i am.

I had the same sad experience until I stay away from my room and tried to socialies with total stangers<br />
I get alot of negative attitude when I get to know them but i atleast felt less scare of being taken away from the shadows that's been trying to control my emotions .