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I Have Done Things I Am Not Proud Of.

I am sure anyone can say they have done something they wished the hadn't and would like to forget. The things I wished I had not become involved in are cyber sex, and role playing. They are addictions, addictions that brought about an end to a twenty-six year marriage. The mother of my children eventually had enough. I was given two months notice to find a place to live because she was filing for divorce. We negotiated what items of furniture I would be allowed to take with me as well as household items. She wanted the marriage dissolve as painlessly as possible, but she wanted the marriage to end. Living alone has brought me greater freedom to engage in the same activities that made me her ex husband, but I was on a slippery slope spending more time engaged in scenarios with someone in cyber space. I must admit that it was very arousing and I miss it, but it has created problems for me which will be difficult to remedy. I can't be doing this anymore. I am going to be working hard to fight the temptation. 
GrandPaRoo GrandPaRoo 61-65, M 5 Responses Apr 8, 2012

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I am so sorry for the end of your marriage. Chamberlane is right, usually it is because you are not getting that excitement at home. Yes, it is very exciting and is an addiction. It gives us a mind ****, gives us that rush and want more. I have experienced it myself for many years and finally am at peace with myself. Do I enjoy it, of course, it is a wild ride like all addictions. Sad for you it ended your marriage. I am still alone myself without anyone in my life but by choice. I understand completely what you went through, good luck to you my friend.

Roo, sometimes when we do something, we do it because we need a placebo for something we don't have in real life. When we say and do things online, it's because we don't get those chances in the world we live in. I don't know whether it was the same in your case, I don't plan to find out. Just remember that we always do things for a reason, your wife, you, your daughters, everyone.

Thank you my lovely friend. You are very astute, you never cease to impress me. I appreciate your kind words.

i am sorry to hear that. do you still contact her? how is your daughter? is she okay with you? <br />
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do you have someone that is there for you?

Thank you for your comment. It is not a total loss. I still have my daughters but as far as their mother is concerned it is over between us. The marriage was starting to fail anyway. The attempts at recovery she said as too little and too late. She was done with me.

very sure you are not the first to losse your family over that and i am sorry maybe you guys can work it out once she knows youa re trying<br />
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i lost the one i loved a long time to death so thereis no hope for me