Pride...Have I done things I'm not proud of?
Yes, I have. Of course I bloody have. But never without reason. It either was because it was my duty, my responsibility to do that or because it simply needed to be done.
Convenient excuses. Duty, responsibility, necessity...
Guess what: Even if it was my duty to falsify a report for the greater good, even if it was my duty to manipulate data to support my standpoint, or even if I needed to go through back channels without proper accountability and/or documentation - no matter what the reason, I do not feel better. Sometimes, what I needed to do taunts me. Sometimes, what I have done keeps me awake at night, wondering if it was right or not...
In life and in battle, you sometimes see the necessity to either do it the right way and recognize defeat or you to it the easy way and maybe win.
But: At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you rolled in the deal, or if you sucessfully resolved a situation. What does matter is how you did it.
And if you can't look in a mirror, then everything else simply doesn't matter.
Every decision one needs to make should therefore be made carefully and in regards to one's own consciousness.
Because if you don't, you might one day find yourself in shitbutt city wondering how you got there.