Have I done things I'm not proud of?

Yes, I have. Of course I bloody have. But never without reason. It either was because it was my duty, my responsibility to do that or because it simply needed to be done.

Convenient excuses. Duty, responsibility, necessity...

Guess what: Even if it was my duty to falsify a report for the greater good, even if it was my duty to manipulate data to support my standpoint, or even if I needed to go through back channels without proper accountability and/or documentation - no matter what the reason, I do not feel better. Sometimes, what I needed to do taunts me. Sometimes, what I have done keeps me awake at night, wondering if it was right or not...

In life and in battle, you sometimes see the necessity to either do it the right way and recognize defeat or you to it the easy way and maybe win.

But: At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you rolled in the deal, or if you sucessfully resolved a situation. What does matter is how you did it.

And if you can't look in a mirror, then everything else simply doesn't matter.

Every decision one needs to make should therefore be made carefully and in regards to one's own consciousness.

Because if you don't, you might one day find yourself in shitbutt city wondering how you got there.
Kletti Kletti
2 Responses May 11, 2012

pride is my virtue and weakness.

Good for you, you're able to realize that. You manage to acknowledge that you've done something wrong and you corrected it. You feel better that way. Admitting is not a sign of defeat, it is rather making the wrong, right. The man I loved for two decades wronged me and my children. He is happy and proud of what he did and said he got no regrets from doing it. What he did is wrong in the eyes of majority but instead of making amends to his action he still continues to this day. I summon him with divorce and now he is completely lost. I'm giving him the taste of his own medicine.

My sister-in-law was married to a bloke like that. For what he did to that woman and their children I'd like to send him to hell on a bungee-cord.

Give him hell, Canolabears.

dont worry the moment i told him i will divorce him, he is already starting to feel the heat.