I'm So Sorry..

I once read my sister's diary. I was 10 and she was 14.

Here's the story: She did a lot of "sports" with a neighbour, who was about 20.  I knew exactly that they didn't just do "sports" and "watch movies", I knew that they were together. But she always said to everybody "You're so stupid, of course we're not together!" But I knew that she was. And well.. I just needed a proof, I guess, so I read her diary. And I'm so sorry for it, of course she doesn't know it, and I never told anybody about what I read. But the last thing she has written about, was her first time having sex. Oh my god, I'm so sorry for reading it. I should have never even opened her diary. I knew from the beginning that it's a stupid thing to do, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it.

I'm so ashamed of myself. How could I do this? And then reading this very personal thing. Thank God, I hardly remember anything. And I wish I wouldn't remember any of it.

I feel like I'd have to be punished for it. Is there anything worse to do? I feel so bad because of it. Just imagine somebody would read your diary..  Argh. I'm an aweful person.

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2 Responses Sep 18, 2008

You know I have to tell you - if you had done something like that to me -I'd want to see your head on a platter. LOL But listen -this is the GOOD thing about this -you didn't TELL EVERYONE you knew or your sister knew about what you read. So I give you props for keeping your mouth shut with a lot of juicy information.<br />
And on a very real level - no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. Believe me THERE ARE WORSE THINGS My Dear!!! Good heavens -we don't have enough time or space to get into them all either. You're NOT an awful person. The fact that you're sorry proves that. Take care-

You were 10, cut yourself some slack. All you can do is learn from it and respect peoples privacy in the future.