My First Real Love

The first time I really fell in love I was 18. I know thats a little weird but I just never dated anybody.. This girl, was beautiful, and she was dating my best friend. I liked her at first, but then we talked, a lot, and I fell in love. Like, end my life to make her happy love lol That kind of love. the bad kind. Anyway, Im not sure if it was because she pitied me or if she honestly liked me, it felt like she liked me, but we started doing things. Or more like she let me do things to her... I feel so disgusted thinking about it. Im not that same man anymore, thank god, but I wont ever forgive myself for betraying my friend and doing things with girlfriend, touching her :( I guess I was just a stupid teenager.. My friend and I dont speak anymore. He wanted to patch things up once or twice, but we both said some terrible things to eachother, so I didnt want him back in my life. The girl and I, ironically, are best friends. We've gotten distant lately, but I can still talk to her about anything. I'm glad she's found a new man and is happy, she's engaged actually lol. Idk what happened to my friend, probably in college... I'll always regret what I did :/ Even though it made me the man I am today..
Sasuke276 Sasuke276
18-21, M
Jan 8, 2013