My Dream About My Father

It was in September of 03 when i had the dream that will forever be arpart of me.The dream started with my father my 1 year old little girl and myself were in the barn that my dad and us kids had built for the horse we had.My dad  and i were sitting at a table it was raining hard, there wasn't a front wall so there was rain all over the floor,My father was telling me he was sorry he let us down i was trying to tell him that all we wanted was for him to be around more he just kept telling me how sorry he was for not being there.He handed me some papers and said i have money in the bank for you kids to split between you i just telling him we didn't want money we just wanted to have him around and he just didn't seem to hear me.He told me he had to go to the bathroom so i waited with my daughter and i heard a gun shot go off i ran to the bathroom door and there was blood running under the door i opend it and found my dad on the floor with a  hole is his head and woke up. The next day i couldn't stop thinking about him he didn't have a phone so i went to my sisters house told her about my dream and she called my oldest sister and she had told her that my grandma was on her way to see him and she would let me know how he was doing as soon as my grandma called her so we waiting a few hours and my sister called back and said everythings fine he is doing good don't worry it was just a dream is what everyone told me so i tryed to just go on and not think about it.Two days later when i was at my sisters my oldest sister called and told us that my dad had killed himself that night after my grandma left. Everyone that knew about my dream just looked at me with a blank look and would say you dreamt this.It hit me hard i had  noone who could tell me why i would dream something like that he didn't seem depressed.We  found  out that he had money saved for us and a letter telling us that he was sorry for not being there.... so if anyone knows how to deal with this it's been 7 years and ive talked to therapist and  they do they say well um... and thats about it. So am i just crazy.

babyfireflower babyfireflower
Mar 11, 2010