Drifted...is An Understatement

OKAY....IM GOING TO TRY AND GET THIS OUT THE BEST I CAN.
THE PAST 4 MONTHS HAVE BEEN THE WORST. I'VE STOPPED TALKING TO MY FAMILY...ESPECIALLY MY AUNT WHOM I WAS VERY CLOSE WITH....AND THE TWO LITTLE LOVES OF MY LIFE, MY TWIN SISTERS. I HAVEN'T TALKED TO ANY OF MY FRIENDS IN MORE THAN A YEAR.

THE REASONS...WELL I KNOW AND THEN I DON'T. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CONTRADICTING....BUT SOMETIMES WHEN I KNOW THE ANSWER A NEW OR DIFFERENT ONE POPS UP.

WHAT I DO KNOW IS:
I KNOW I DON'T LIKE TO LEAVE MY HOUSE....SOMETIMES IT'S HARD FOR ME TO ANSWER PHONE CALLS...I KNOW I DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING TO ANYONE... AND I KNOW I JUST WANT TO SHUT MYSELF OFF TO EVERYONE. I KNOW I JUST HAVE NO DESIRE TO COMMUNICATE....AND WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS THE PEOPLE WHO "CARE" DON'T SEEM TO NOTICE MY ABSENCE. I MEAN I'M NOT FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF...I KNOW I'M THE ONE DOING IT. I JUST THOUGHT THE ONES THAT CARED WOULD BE AT MY HOUSE VISITING ME...HELPING ME AND URGING ME TO GET OUT. THEN I FEEL DISGUSTING FOR NEEDING SOMEONE'S HELP...FOR WANTING TO TAKE UP THERE TIME.
**** I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE..........
AnimusVita AnimusVita
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 7, 2011

I know how that is. What matters most is if once you do feel like talking to them again, is that you can pick things back up without it feeling that a lot of time has past. Family can be like that sometimes.

THANKS...I HOPE IT WILL B LIKE THAT FOR ME

It is not easysometimes you have to do what you feel not what everones thinks you should do. Just be you sweetie you are never alone even if you think you are.<br />
hope that made sense.<br />
My mother sister and elder brother I don,t have antthing to do with my choice and I am glad after 52years I made that desision. Have younger brother saw him last years first time in 10 years we are now closer than we ever were.<br />
Its my life and I will live how I want within my family group, I am a good person and I don,t put up with those that are not.<br />
Always there for you sweetie

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT....YOU WARMED ME.