Friendly Friends

Well it says drifted but with me it was more like built a mile thick wall between my friends and I.

I hated most of them.

They made my life a living hell and weren't really friends at all. But I stuck with them through my school years because it's difficult to just move from one group of people to another once you've been with them for quite a while. People get stuck in their little groups. And I'm painfully shy.

So I struggled through school with them.

But once I was in sixth form and no longer in compulsory education I sort of had a bit of a mental breakdown.

I was still with the people that I hated and I had no good reason why.

Plus I was having a really tough time with the work and I'd been battling severe depression for years (my "friends" were one of the main reasons why I was so depressed in the first place) without any help.

One day, about 2 months into my first year of sixth form, I just stopped. I locked myself in my room and refused to come out. One thing I was sure about was that I never wanted to see my so-called friends again.

And I didn't.

Except the day I had to go back in to school to give back my books. They noticed me and came rushing over. But I just smiled and ignored their stupid questions.

I haven't seen them since.

They've tried to get in contact but I just ignore them. I think it's better for everyone if I don't actually tell them that I hate them. It's in the past, no need to drag it up now.

What makes it harder is that there were two people who I actually did like who hang around with them. Which means I can't really talk to them any more because if I did start up my friendship with them again they'd want me to see the others.

But there are plenty other nice people out there. So I haven't lost hope that I can finally find some genuinely friendly friends.

UnseenBlossom UnseenBlossom
18-21, F
Jun 26, 2009