Once You've Eaten Snails, Crow Ain't Nothin'

If you haven't made any mistakes lately you're probably in cold storage.  To be human is to be fallible, and to make mistakes.  The key variable here is personal security - confident people are usually quick to admit mistakes while insecure people will defend insupportable positions because they fear being wrong so intensely.  In doing so they appear foolish and cheat themselves - because we learn far more from our mistakes than from our triumphs.  Today, if somebody points out that I've made a mistake - my response is - great!  I assume I'm about to learn something useful.

ElLagarto ElLagarto
56-60, M
6 Responses Jul 7, 2007

spot on!!! Crow...it's what's for dinner! :)

I'm imagining a chain of fast food crow stands, "Crow To Go."

Very familiar country, Humdinger. I too came up in an environment where perfection was simply expected - why apologize if you're never wrong and other people are idiots?<br />
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It took a long time to unlearn that rubbish - and embrace being human as being imperfect - by definition. It's like one day I said - okay, I am no longer going to play the "better than others" game - and when that happened, apologizing when it is called for became natural.

I'm coming around to this way of thinking, but it's been a slow go.<br />
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I was ridiculed a lot as a kid by my family and learned the need to be right because the alternative was humiliation at home. Misspell or misspeak a word, not know the facts and I was the laughingstock. It was a bloodsport, I think, looking back.<br />
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That kind if thing takes a long time to outgrow, and I still have a reflexive defensiveness that rears its ugly head and makes me feel like a hand-shy dog at times - ick. And what I experience as defensiveness probably reads as pure ego from the outside - a pretty unhappy loop. <br />
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God, I love getting older! Here's to wisdom, and to eating crow. Got any Tabasco?

I've also learned that it's nearly impossible to apologize too often if you are genuinely at fault. You don't lose face by doing it, you gain.<br />
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Apologizing when you're not at fault is at least odd and potentially creepy.

Very admirable attitude!