I Feel Irrelevant

I have EDNOS. I used to have anorexia (5'4 and 100lbs) and now I am at a "healthy" weight. The issue is that the thoughts are just as bad! I never like myself, always feel fat, WANT to diet (but I still eat,) and compare myself. I have gone to therapy and take medication for anxiety and depression, but it hasn't been enough. I have always thought I was weird, but I think that if I would have been to inpatient long ago, I would be in a better place now. Now I blame myself for getting fat and I just can't stop thinking I'm fat and ugly. Does anyone else wish there was a place for like a week for people with EDNOS? I need support, lessons on how to think positive about myself. I'm tired of hating myself everyday. I can't truly live, but I don't think the doctors care because I'm not dying. I have to take a semester off of college because I can't afford it and it gives me way too much time to think about how fat I am. Anyone feel like this???
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013