Kidney Infections All the Time.

I had kidney infections a lot as a kid when in elementary school. I feel really vunerable sharing this, but this is what this site is for..still this is a very embarrasing memory.

Anyways, i used to get them a lot because i would hold my pee and poo. I would forcibly hold it and i don't know why i did that. Looking back i feel now that it was a form of control which i had issues growing up at home.

My mother is the type that was and still is oblivious to a lot of things. She would take me to the emergency room for blood transfushions and i would be in excruciating pain, not realizing i was causing this pain to myself by forcing my urine back up and its just gross but i would not let myself go to the bathroom.

I remember it was painful but i still did it. I eventually stopped it myself like in 6th grade when i realized that must be why i get those pains and have to go to the hospital etc...i finally figured out it was really bad what i was doing.

No thanks to mom, because i remember holding it at a friends house in the bathroom, and her mother new something was wrong cause i was in the bathroom kinda longer than i should have been and asked if i was alright? she was concerned and actually told my mother.

I found this out because my mother told me that and so said that you may have had some trouble in the bathroom are you okay, well of course i say yes because i knew what i was doing wasn't going to the bathroom so i may get in trouble. Well its just amazing that for years from 2nd grade to 5th grade my mother never observed me and was able to see a problem, but one day at somebody else's house it was noticed. Sad but true, it ****** me off because at the time i felt i had to hide it and felt bad and didn't know why i was doing it.

Anyways, I had several accidents in elementary school where after awhile like hours and hours my body wasn't able to hold it anymore and i would wet my pants, and then i would usually run home crying, sneak into the patio to change and go back to school. All while my mother was home too and she only caught me once out of several times and that was just because she was doing laundry.

It was a painful problem that i ended up solving it myself because i realized it was hurting me. So ya that is an embarressing memory.

frosti frosti
31-35, F
2 Responses Mar 16, 2009

Thank you for being vulnerable, I can feel for you. A few years ago I had a bladder infection and I still have to pee more than usual, but it's not too bad these days. The worst moment I had was when my dad was driving me home for university and I had to ask him to stop the car so I could go behind a bush, the only time I have ever peed outdoors.

we all need to feel like we are in control of something when things seem to be changing around us without being able to do anything about it. you were strong enough to help yourself, you should be proud of that.