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Constantly On Mind.

I am always thinking about throwing up. It is a constant thought. Ill start from the beginning.
Hi, my name is Whitney. I am fifteen years old. I have only thrown up four times in my life. I have what it called a hard stomach. So when I do vomit it is a traumatic expirience. When I was ten, it was February 15, 2007. I went to my friends house to spend the night. That night we had tacos for dinner and I started to feel sick. I went home and threw up. The next morning I went to the hospital and had my appendix removed(that being the cause of vomiting). Since then I have feared throwing up to the extent where I barely eat. when I was thirteen the fear subsided. I went for five years without throwing up until January 21, 2012 I got the stomach flu. To this day I am now homeschooled. I can't even go shopping or out to dinner! The thought of getting sick occurs in every situation. For example tomorrow I'm going on a hike with my dad and I'm thinking about what would happen if I had to throw up in the middle of the hike. Even if my stomach doesn't hurt. I am so tired of having this constant thought. In the morning, I feel good and like I'm not sick. But as the day goes by I get more and more anxious about it. This emetophobia has also diagnosed me with anxiety disorder, OCD, and panic attacks. If I could just never ever throw up again in my life I would be free!!! But that's not reality...it's going to happen again. I'm now in therapy and on medication to help get through this terrible stage in my life. It's so hard to sleep at night. The things that trigger my fear are having the same pattern in a day that I did when I was sick, wearing the same clothes, hanging out with the same people, certain lighting in a room. Things that seem to help ease my fear are knowing I'm not alone, breathing, sipping cold water, laying with my feet up, walking, running, watching tv, and being reassured that I am okay no matter what happens. If anybody has had emetophobia and cured it I am ALL EARS! :)
Borregow Borregow 13-15 1 Response May 6, 2012

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I envy the help you're getting, though it's terrible you had to go through that. I suffer emetophobia (can't go to school, obsessed with sanitation, panic attacks, you know..) but no one understand or thinks it's real. I can't get help because nobody understands. It's so hard, and I wish I could tell you how to cure it. Good luck, :)