Emetophobia Controls My Life.

It started from nothing. I try to recall being thrown up on....throwing up numerous times..something. But i feel my emetophobia stemmed from nothing. I have a fear both of myself throwing up, as well as other people. I've lost friends over it, and wonder how i'll help my children when they vomit.

Other people: I don't like people coughing, burping, and especially gagging, because all of these can lead to vomiting. As soon as someone says or looks as if they are going to vomit, I get as far away from them as possible. My body takes over and I move before I realize what I'm doing. I sweat and my heart beats fast. After one throws up, I have trouble being around them, I get anxiety and find myself only thinking about them vomit. I don't like the sound or sight of vomit, and never let myself smell it. I get anxious when I am in places that are small where I can't get out, such as planes and cars, and places that people more often vomit, such as roller coasters and airplanes.

Myself: When I start to feel that I am going to vomit, I start to hyperventilate, cry, and attempt to convince myself not to vomit. I will go to whatever extent it takes to not vomit, I even attempt to poop as much as 10 or 15 times, I hope that will make the stomach ache go away. I hyperventilate to the point where my feet get tingly and I cannot feel my hands. I wont go near the toilet or a trash can, because it feels more realistic and I fear that i'll actually vomit. I would rather try and will myself not to puke for 4 hours, than just make myself do it to get it over with.

I hope i can gradually get over this fear or at least decrease the severity of it, I fear that once i live on my own, I'm 17, I won't be able to clean up after myself and eventually my children.
lucylu12345678 lucylu12345678
18-21, F
Jun 30, 2012