My Story And More

I have this horrible phobia since I was 7 years old. Till this day not a single soul that i have ever known not even my parents know that i have this. **** i didnt even know it was even a phobia untill 2009 i was 20. I always just thought i might be crazy.It was triggered by an episode of what we all fear...the stomach flu. My story is long and may be hard to read for most of you but just know your not alone! So after I got over the initial trigger when I was 7 I went on with my normal life,or so I thought. Kids would get sick at school and I would be terrified or a family member at home would not feel well and I would shut down and hide. As time went on I actually would forget about it all together. I went thru middle school high school a pregnancy and a sick boyfriend without my fear surfacing at all! I honestly was able to be around sick and v****ing people and not even flinch! Now that I look back I believe it had gone away all together. That is until 2009, I had just turned 20 and my son was 6 months old at the time. One night I woke up with stomach pain and cramps I knew it was the flu because I had the chills and body aches too by morning i was very ill but only th**w up once after that I felt better and was back to normal the next day or so I thought! The next month or so it was like 13 years of not having the fear all came rushing back and 10 times worse. It was hell and everytime my mouth would water whatever the reason I would have a panic attack. I learned to deal with it as it was apart of my life once again. I had good days and bad. I started to feel normal again but then was in a horrible car accident I broke hip and pelvis which then triggered my appendix to almost burst an emet with appendicitis is literally hell I would of rather died. So I went in for surgery and after felt a lot better. I thought things would go back to normal again soon. Not this time! It got so bad I lost 30lbs and I wasn't even 140lbs to begin with and I'm 5'9. I looked like a skeleton. I would be up pacing at night and would never sleep because I thought I would wake up sick. Couldn't keep a job and was barely able to take care of my son. The worst of it lasted about 2 years. Like everyone, I deal with it now it's apart of my life everyday and I try and make the best of it. Good days can turn bad and vise versa. But the one thing I have learned although very difficult and draining you can control you bodily fluids its proven that the act of v****ing is controlled by the brain not the stomach. Mind over matter! As well as nausea it's very hard to fight it but I have always been able to over come it. Thats the only comforting fact and i know its possible to fight off. Thank you whoever took the time to read this and although it doesn't usually help hearing other people's stories just be glad we're not alone. On that note.I wanna write MTV and tell them to do True Life: I'm emetophobic ha! There are so many of us with this disorder. It takes over your life your happiness your everything but we are still here and for a reason so try and make the best of it. ;)
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3 Responses Jan 9, 2013

This actually makes me tear up, because it's so stressful trying to explain this phobia to people. My manager at work knows, and if anything related to the fear were to happen at work, she knows I wouldn't be able to deal with it. It's such a terrible phobia, and I wish you the best with overcoming it. <3

I have suffered with this for years. its horrible. l enjoyed your story. I didn't know you can control this by your brain. thanks

Wow! I feel for you mostly because I know exactly how you feel, if you have read any of my stories or anything you will see I have suffered a long time and like you I have had years at a time where it seemed to go away and live normally and then BAM!! Somthing would trigger it again, unfortunately right now and since September when I lost my job and suffered an injury it is at an all time high, I'm barely able to function.... feel free to write me its always good to beable to relate to someone, oh I to have thought MTV needed to do an emetophobe true life so people can see how debilitating this is and how hard it is to live normally!