Please Help Me...

I am suffering with this horrible disease and fear. It is completely taking over my life and my ability to function. I am afraid to eat, leave the house, be near people, go to sleep, or touch things. I can't live like this another day. Over the past year or so it has become unbearable, leaving me nonfunctional and miserable. Every day seems like an eternity and my stomach always hurts. I have lost all hope and I think the fear has finally defeated me. I don't want to eat because I want my heart to stop, and because of it, I have no ability to gather my thoughts, speak, or even open my eyes. I hate my life and I want to die. I feel like no one understands what I'm going through besides other emetophobics and we are all so damaged that we don't know how to function or fix it on our own. I'm so lost and I'm my own worst enemy. Does anyone have insight or any words of hope? Because I honestly feel like I have none and I just want to die so badly. I need help and no one is able to help me. I don't want to live like this anymore and I'm so scared and alone :'(
Sarabrooke Sarabrooke
2 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Hey sweetie, I know that you're frightened but you need to listen to how I spend my days (I have way more germs in my house than most people so I have three kds in three seperate schools bringing "germs" into my house and a husband who only showers every 4 to 5 days. Yes, I do clean like an emetophobe BUT I guarantee my house is buggier than yours. Just try to think of that and remember that my children and husband only get sick occasionally. Please don't give up! There is a song called "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel that reminds me that however sad I am, there are always people who care, even if they don't understand. Here if you need to talk. X

Dearest sarabrooke,
My 12 yr old daughter was just like you. She stopped eating, going to school, talked about wanting to die, all because of a fear of vomiting. After two years of cognitive behavioral therapy that did not work, we took her to our local university that has an anxiety clinic. Three weeks of daily exposure therapy and she is cured! Her life, and ours, is finally back to normal. Exposure therapy was very very difficult, but it cured her. I wrote a blog about the whole experience:
Check it out. Hang in there...