Sad, Alone, And Don't Know How To Cope

I had a really bad emotional day today. I am an empty-nester. My daughter has been out of the home for quite a while but she used to live very close and we did things together all the time. Now she lives in Korea, and I don't get to see her or communicate with her very often and that is a terrible void in my life.

My son has been out of the home for about 15 months which seems long enough to get over, but we were fairly close until this past December.

My son lived with his long term (5 years) girl friend and in December he broke it off 2 weeks before Christmas or less, in a very nasty and cruel way which devastated his girlfriend. She was talking marriage and babies, and out of the blue...truly out of the blue he broke up with her. We found out that he had been seeing another person, he says they were just friends, but all the signs are there shouting that it was different.

Since December, he has not only broken up with his girlfriend, but he has been distant and verbally abusive toward me, and has barely spoken to his sister either. It's as if he is a completely different person and changed on a dime.

He had spoken to me here and there, but my birthday came and went, Mother's day came and went and I have not heard a thing from him on about 6 weeks.

We had been a fairly close family, not perfect, in fact far from perfect, but still close.

I have no idea what to do, because when I do reach out he becomes abusive toward me and it's just a horrible situation. We all used to have dinners together, we used to go out to eat a couple times a month, etc. We did family stuff...When he and his girlfriend were together even her family and ours went whitewater rafting together...It was a whole good thing...at least to all of us (her, he family and mine), but him.

I miss my son. And truthfully I miss his ex. She and I were very close, and when he made the break, he asked me not to see her, and I have complied with that. I miss the whole family thing. I don't need my son living with me, I was an empty-nester, but we were still family and it all worked and now I don't even feel like I have family. I gave up reaching out to him because of how abusive he has become, but I miss him. I don't know how to cope.
GlassButterfly GlassButterfly
51-55, F
May 22, 2012