Am I Being Punished?

Hi Im joanne im 24 i was diagnosed in june07 & has not been allowed 2 hav a period since i was diagnosed.Ive been on DEPO-PROVERA injections tat i recieve every 3 months.At first i tawt it was great i didnt get periods as i suffered terrible but then the whole thing sunk in.I went in 2 hav day surgery 2 get it burned away until i was told they had a look & it was worse than they tawt,my bowel was fused 2 my apendix & didnt wanna continue the surgery without a bowel surgeon present so they put my surgery back a week.The second surgery was worse they had 2 open me like a C section 2 remove my apendix & burn wateva crap was there.At my out patients appointment they told me if i ever wanted 2 try hav kids i wud hav 2 come & see them cause i wud need help 2 conceive like IVF & if i ever fell pregnant by accident i wud hav 2 go the hospital rite away cause i would more than likely suffer from ectopic pregencies cause my tubes were badly scared.At first i was numb i think i still am a little but i dont know if its the medication or jus my condition but i feel like a stranger 2 myself i dont know myself anymore,i used 2 be so happy & positive about things,now i jus get so down & depressed,paronoid.Sometimes i feel its impossible 2 hav a new relationship wen im not myself.

jkrny jkrny
2 Responses Jan 14, 2009

I hate that- I know I should be thankful that this isnt a "life threatening" disease and I can just adpot, but it does threaten my life, the way I live my life, and I want o be able to experience having a child, feeling it move- thats the the way its SUPPOSE to be.

I know what you mean. This wasn't suppose to happen to me it happens to other people. Welcome to Endometriosis and a world where people don't think it's a serious disease and idiots that tell you to just adopt when your heart is broken because you can't give birth to your own baby.