New To ThisI am 29 and was diagnosed with epilepsy about 18 months ago.
For years id experience a strange dream like sensation, deja'vu and hot prickly skin but i didn't think much of it as it always happened when i was quiting dope. I thought it was withdrawals.
I had my first grand mal seizure that i know of when i was 26. I woke early in the morning with a huge pain in my back. I thought i slept wrong. I went to the lounge room to find my then girl friend as white as a ghost. She had seen the seizure poor girl. I thought she was being silly and went to the docs about the pain in my back. It was only when the doc spoke to my girl did we realize i tore several muscles in my back while convulsing.
I was admitted to hospital and had many test which showed nothing so i was told the seizure was caused by high blood pressure and stress on my system. I had been working hard in the heat the day before, drinking lots of energy drinks and was also trying to quit dope, alcohol and smoking at the same time.
So my life went on as normal with the occasional blood pressure test.
About one year later i had just started work at BMW as a motor mechanic. A dream job. I came back from lunch early one day and started to have another dream like feeling. i remember walking to get a drink and thinking "my head is really spinning, i wonder if ill make it back to my hoist?" I didn't. I had a grand mal seizure in the middle of the workshop in front of everyone. When i came to i was already in the ambo and had no idea what was going on.
More tests and still nothing found.
Back at work i was banned from driving cars and given a first year apprentice to baby sit me. As if the seizure wasn't embarrassing enough!
After more seizures at work and home i was diagnosed and put on emilim. This made me a walking zombie. I made mistakes at work, this combined with their fear of me having another seizure cost me my job.
A little time seizure free i was on top of mount Buller for the Buller Sprint (car race). I was involved with a race team their looking after a few cars. While watching the race i had another Grand Mal seizure. The race team promptly drooped me.
I am on Tegretol now and have been seizure free for about 4 months but the funny feelings have started to come back. Petit mal the doc calls them so more test and med adjustment.
I wish they could at least tell me why this is happening to me or if ill ever be seizure free.
I am having lots of trouble finding work because a motor mechanic needs to be able to drive. I still have a license so do i just not tell employers about my condition and hope? Right now i won't even drive to the shops, I'm afraid to.
My girl friend at the time of my first seizure has left me, she didn't cope well with it.
How soon do i tell new girls i meet?
I was on a date a couple of weeks ago and we went back to hers to do our thing. After we had finished the deja'vu started again. I had to try and explain to her about my condition while trying to stay conscious. Thank god i didn't have a grand mal but she is afraid of me now.
I'm sick of being afraid of myself.
Will i ever have control?
fred323 26-30, M 5 Responses 1 May 22, 2010