Wondering How To Forgive

this is the first story im telling and probably one of the hardest....
when i was 15 years old i lost my baby brother. he was not actually a baby he was 11 years 1 month 1 week and 1 day old, but he was my baby brother. i was liveing in a group home ( witch is anouther story in itself. ) and was on a weekend visit that had ended we (me , my mom and my brother ) were on our way to take me back to the group home and we got a flat tire and while my mom and i were changeing the tire and my brother was sitting up on the hill and a drunk driver hit our car then rolled over on top of my brother and killed him. it almost killed my mother and i saw it all. i have always wanted to forgive the man who did this but can not find a way to move past it . i miss my brother everyday and find myself so angry at the man who did this. i have not been able to tell anyone all the details that i saw that day not my mom not a friend or even a theripist and the closest i got was with a theripist but when i saw tears in her eyes i stoped and have not been able to try again any ways i am trying so hard to move past it to not be angry trying so hard to forgive so i can live my life without fear but just cant figure out how im suppose to forgive someone who killed someone i love. and the one thing that makes me madder then anything is when people say it wasn't murder , this guy had gotten in trouble before for the same thing only not killing some one and everyone knows if you get in a car drunk you run the risk of hurting or killing someone else..... to me that is knowingly doing it and murder.... how do i forgive???
Thingswillchange Thingswillchange
26-30, F
4 Responses Nov 28, 2012

Forgiving is one of the hardest things to do. Saying goodbye to all your hatred, anger, fear and trauma a, saying you don't mind that this person caused all this, or you can get over it. Can I forgive my daughter and my husband's killer (a driver hit them, driving on the wrong side of the road)? No way. It's natural to hate and nt forgive a killer. H took something from you, your own brother. No ne can tell you how you can feel. Seven years later, i haven't forgiven. I can get over him, but to be able to forgive, there needs to be an end in sight. Death is final and complete. There's no end. And therefore, it's incredibly hard to forgive. You'd have to be a saint really, I'm not, and I bet most people wouldn't forgive either.

What do you gain by not forgiving?

Rock in the River

The rock holds tightly and is worn down from trying to fight the flow of what is. The water forgives everything as it passes and can therefore move on.

This realization helped me move on from something terrible. I thought it might help you.

You don't have to forgive that person. I think that whole forgiving thing is a little overrated at times. But you can't blame yourself either.