He Made Me Love Him

 Not once in my thirteen year marriage had my husband ever taken me to climax.  The sex between us always focused on his pleasure, and it echoed the subtext of our marriage.  I asked him repeatedly to go to therapy with me, to try a sex therapist, to explore other sexual relationships together, to read certain advice books.  All my entreaties were met with resounding no's.  I raised a young son, worked from home, stayed in excellent shape, and hoped that things would change.  And they didn't.

The tragic death of a younger sibling set me to examine my life and my goals.  I pledged that I would experience sexual fulfillment with or without my spouse, and began an exploration of my predilections in earnest.  After much soul-searching and deep reading, I realized that although I'm Alpha to the vanilla world, in truth I'm a sexual submissive.  So I began to search for a Dominant.

I posted a note on Craig's List and communicated to a number of men who professed their dominant tendencies.  But one man stood out among many, and although at the time we were 6,000 miles apart, fate intervened and my family moved within 3 miles of him.  After emailing daily to each other for 4 months, we finally met and the attraction was instant.  No one who knew me would ever have suspected that I would have been attracted to this man, but I knew from our first "session" that something was very special about our connection.  He was shorter by far than my husband, stocky, a white collar businessman, and very conservative in appearance.  But he had a way about him, a quiet confidence that drew me to him.

After five months of secretly seeing D once a week or so, I realized that I was beginning to have deep feelings for him.  I wasn't prepared to end my marriage, and felt incredibly conflicted.  I stopped seeing D, but I couldn't erase my feelings for him, and how I felt when we were together.  He was sad that I had moved on and tried to find another dominant, but he let me go on in my journey, sure that I would eventually find my way back to him.  By chance I bumped into him in a parking lot in our town and I was overwhelmed by how much I missed him.  Seeing his face, hearing his voice really moved me.  A week later we met again and have been together since.

No one in my life knows about my D.  He is married also, to a woman who has no interest in sex or passion in her life.  He tried everything to stay connected to her, therapy, games, ****, costumes...to no avail.  For him, I was a dream come true.  I understood and honored his dominant personality, and together we have experienced the most intense sexual intimacy we could imagine.  We both know that in time we will be together 24/7, but until then we live dual lives of secret rendezvous.  Neither of want to hurt our spouses, for we love our families and are devoted to our children.  But the concept of giving up our sexual joy and intimate lives because our spouses don't want to participate does not ring true for either of us.

Falling in love was not part of the original contract in our D/s relationship.  Neither of us had any thought that love was a possibility.  But now that we're 2 years down the road, we feel more in love than ever.  Perhaps there are other people on this site who have had similar experiences.  I welcome your stories. 

Hisdoll Hisdoll
Mar 4, 2009