Sisters E-mail Rant To Me

sister of mine is 14 yrs younger than my self . A short recap of our lives goes like this .I left home at 19 yrs ,got a student loan for college and graduated with a small degree,got married ,had 2 sons raised them to adulthood and turned out well,worked in my specialty for 32 yrs while raising my children ,paid for a mortgage and just generally a did all the things a person is expected to do for them selves and still married to my husband. Sisters life goes like this ....married for 25 yrs,no children by choice,no job,husband works away from home for 3 weeks at a time and home for about 3 weeks then back to work.1 dog .and a house ,dabbles in arts and crafts and bowls once a week when she feels like it.Their relationship is tense and mostly considers his coming home a nuisance and a disruption in her life. After 25 yrs of an off and on again relationship with her all communication with me was ended.She not answering her phone or returning messages and although it was me who initiated all or most of the contact over the years.Our parents have been ill and passed away in 2006 and our mom just a year ago. A few months ago I received this e-mail from her....``:Dear sis and I still call you that because we are related and that is how it goes.So if we are fighting ,lets have at her ! You have always made me feel stupid and inferior .You are 14 yrs older than me for gods sake .I have the memory of dads death etched in my mind with as much pain as you Felt ``GIVING BIRTH TO YOUR KIDS``.I was at Mom`s bedside when she died and I told her everything! You didnt have the balls to see her at the funeral home before cremation. Little does she know I saw my mom before she passed also and I too told her things and how much i loved her ,just not on the same day as she would not want to run into me there.She goes on to say how I have not been an ideal sister and it will not be anytime time soon she speaks to me again....She asks what I want from her. And then goes on to say she thought if we didnt talk for awhile we would get along better. HUH! We havent talked for years now really so how is this different from what has always been. She is the one who never initiated contact, all family get-togethers were at my place for all these years except the ones she had and I wasnt invited to .I had birthday get-togethers for her and never did she reciprocate. I have been asked to her home 3 times in 25 yrs and that when mom could talk her into it.I sent cards and gifts many times and never an acknowledgement .She cannot be bothered with her 2 nephews. And my son got the job her husband wanted .Must have been a slap in her face. When it comes to getting along I have done all the work and effort. I`m happy and satisfied with the relationship I had with our parents and I dont need to justify anything to her about that but wonder what she has to justify.I grieve as much for my parents too and what right does she have to send a letter like this when in the grieving process. Its all about her obviously .Im done with it all but this really hurts and thats what she wanted .
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1 Response May 24, 2012

I cant possibly understand whats going on btw you and your sister. But from what youve said it seems she resents you. She has strived and tried for the happiness you have now and shes sick to her stomch with envy that it kinda back lashed onto you. Dont let that kind of venom poison you from the obviously good person you are. If you feel you are living your life an have been living your life to the way you want it to be then just hold your head high. For the past 25 years if she hasn't wanted to be involved in your childrens life its her loss as a aunt. If she wants to gripe and complain that you were not an ideal daughter, who is she to say so. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and father and I know you must carry them in your heart always and they are looking down at this blatent slap to you and probably shaking your head<br />
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Bottom line like you said she wanted it to hurt. Shes mad at your happiness and people who are venomous and see others happy will hiss and bite until you feel their pain. Dont let her get in, until she sees the venom that is destroying her she will never be happy and she will take you down with her.<br />
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Again sorry for your loss and I hope you lead a happy long and healthy life<br />
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All the well wishes in the world<br />