My Distress With My Family

I live in a family of four. Im the youngest in the family. Upon growing up, I was in a constant state of fear. My brother who was 3 years older constantly tease and bully me, which made me so insecure about myself. I hate my mum and dad. They are always arguing everyday. It made me fell uncomfortable living in this hell. In this house, everything my dad say must be follow and obey. Any objection or slight resistance will result a big shouting match between us. Even the neighbor knew it. Mum cant escape from in either. Almost every time we went out together especially in the car, argument broke out over even the smallest things. I am the one sitting back at the car crying silently, and they don't even know or care.It hurt me the most when my parent didn't get along well.

My dad is a terrible person. He is an egoist always blaming people on every fault but did not check on himself. Im afraid to talk with my dad. I hate him I tried to avoid him as mush as possible. I thought that one day when I turn eighteen I will move out of this house and never want to come back again. This place call home just makes me feel depress. My parent character did had some impact on me. I just hate to have some of my dad traits, like im hot tempered, emotional and poor self-esteeem. I used to escape into fantasy that I dream about a perfect parent and believe that they are my mum and dad. But reality always win. I know we are not suppose to hate our parent but I cant stop myself from having this feeling. I guess I had to accept them and just move on
bellablack bellablack
18-21, F
Sep 9, 2012