Forced Ambivalance For The Greater Good

I can't stand it when people complain about their situation but refuse to do anything about it. I hate it even more when my family members do it. I love my family and I hate seeing them upset but it's stupid to get upset over something that you're doing to yourself.

My biggest issue with my family right now is my older step sister, Laura.
She grew up with her mom and dad and little brother. Her mom and dad got a divorce and now her dad is married to my mom.
My relationship with her has been horrible from day one.
From the moment I met her when she was in her twenties and I was fifteen she treated me like ****. Not just me but my whole family. She hates me and my mom especially.

I understand that she might be upset about her dad remarrying. That's a legitimate reason to be angry. I was angry when my mom started dating other men after my dad. I refused to ever call them dad and I didn't like being told what to do by them. I was six years old at the time. Laura's behavior is worse and she's a full grown adult. She takes it to the next level and she doesn't care who she hurts in the process. She says that nobody is good enough for her dad and says she's just trying to protect him but she treats him like **** too by hurting the people he loves.

My mother told me of an incident where she was spending the night at his house and Laura barged in and started screaming at her dad for having my mom over saying things like "Is that your little ***** over there?". My dad would have slapped me across the face. It's one thing to be upset that your parents are seeing other people but it's another to be down right disrespectful.

The worst part is how she treated me and my little sister Jennifer.

We first met Laura when I was 15 and Jennifer was 10. Laura was in her twenties. Even though Laura was a full grown adult she full out harassed both me and my kid sister from day one. Calling us ***** and ****** and telling us to shut the **** up. She'd come to the house and make comments about how fat I was or how ugly our clothes were. It's insane how immature she was at her age. I'm in my twenties now and I can't imagine myself saying those things to a 15 year old, or a 10 year old little girl.

I tried working things out with her but it's no use. Once she hates a person, there's no going back and she hated us before she even met us and it never got better.

She lives with her husband now and her dad helps her pay her bills. I stay at my boyfriend's house whenever she comes to town because thing's only got worse as we got older.
I said something on facebook about it being unfair that I can't borrow the family car when I have the best driving record out of all the "kids". (Which is true. My brother has had more then one ticket and Laura crashed into her dad's car. Jennifer is too young to drive.) Laura saw it and went insane. She called everybody in the family trying to rally them against me for "talking **** about her family". She says that if she ever sees me again she's going to beat me up.

The whole situation is hopeless. She won't even let me apologize to her. What do I have to apologize for though, for telling to truth? For avoiding her so I don't have to deal with a physical confrontation? For existing? I don't get it.

A lot of people say I should welcome the physical confrontation because I'm a bodybuilder and I've been in so many fights I've lost count while she's rail thin and does pilates. I can't do that though. We're adults! If I beat her up it would make everything worse. I hate getting into fights. I did what I had to when people attacked me but I don't go looking for fights.

She's caused so much pain in my life only because I exist.

Sometimes I think about letting her attack me and then letting the years of **** she's put on me just go into her face. I could hurt her, but I don't want to because in a way I understand where she's coming from. That and I'd be hurting her entire family and my family if I did. She's extremely immature and stupid for her age and it's driving a wedge between my mom's family and my stepdad's family. How can a person who has everything handed to them, everything paid for without having to try be so destructive?

I've decided to continue avoiding her. Out of sight, out of mind. Hopefully my ambivalence might balance out the damage she does to this family.
She's not a good person so I won't stress myself out over trying to make her like me or trying to make her see reason. She's only hurting herself now.

But she definitely is a perfect example of a family member that get's on my nerves. Or got on my nerves. Lol

hexy16 hexy16
18-21, F
Dec 8, 2012