I Am Sick And No One Cares And I'm Barely Holding On.

I got sick when I was 19 years old. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I'm in constant pain and depression and all I get from my family is it's all in your head. When I was working everybody loved me. I was always surrounded by my family and friends. Now that I need help no one is around. The only two people that helps me or show that they care is my youngest daughter and my little granddaughter. My granddaughter prays for me all the time and ask God to heal me. When I turned 25 I was diagnosed with another muscle disease-Polymyositis. I continued to work the best I could but finally I had to go on disability. That in itself was a struggle. I have a hard time cleaning the house,doing laundry,cooking pretty much everything. I'm in pain all day and night long. Pain so bad that it's hard to breathe. I ended up have two small strokes and no one in my family came to my aid. After the strokes I started having partial complex seizures. Still no one cared with the exception of my youngest daughter and 5 year old grand daughter. It's so not fair. I was there to help so many different family members with their illnesses or family problems. When I was working I was there with my checkbook and now I can't afford to help anyone. One would think that your family and friends would be there for you in your time of need. My depression is out of control. All I do is cry all day. Crying for the lost of my friendships and for the love of my family. They make me feel like nothing.I mean if someone has a cold they make a big deal of it and talk about how it's a shame they are so sick. Meanwhile I'm having seizures and pain so bad that it feels like it's going to rip me in half and they are bemoaning a damn cold. I have been dealing with all this for so long that it really don't matter now if my family and friends care. It's like I'm not even there. Who is this person that has all these problems, oh she is just another blight on the earth. Only Jesus and I know how deep my despair is and how much I have to deal with day to day. If it wasn't for Jesus I would have tried to kill myself again. I know HE loves me and he is rooting me on in this life until it's time for HIM to call me Home. I just wish I didn't have to run this race mostly alone. What makes me so unlovable.

blessedmommy126 blessedmommy126
41-45, F
9 Responses Dec 8, 2012

have U tried 5-htp for depression and pain.?..
it helps and is very cheap ...i use "now" brand ....

Hi I so understand what your going through I am in so much pain 24/7 and have no support from family and friends it is horrible feeling as I was the same support them if and when they needed it now I need it I fell they only ask cause they think they have two but no one really cares about me and it's such a horrible life being so loanly I am trying to get a service dog to help me, and all my friends just give me such a hard time about it after I was so excited about getting one but it honestly fells like my Happyness is short lived so I really hate being happy now as it doesn't last long....Your no a loan

I think this is a typical experience for women: we are supposed to take care of everyone, but when we need help there is no one for us.

from my experience is that a lot of ppl simply do not understand what is a chronic illness until they get it,,,,,
thats my observation.....
i have chronic lyme and often feel crappy ,have chronic fatigue.....
I of course never complain or if I complain its like i have a cold or something...others are just not interested in anything then themselves.......
I have encounter many ppl who think that Im lazy and I cant get help ...its a lll my fault .....the other day " friend" told me that I simply " dont take care of myself right " cause i am the o n l y one who have chronic lyme .......lol.....
I cant get disability cause im not sick enough ....I cant work full time cause i cant keep up...year after year nothing changes ...even my own father who is a doctor actually....!!!!!! alraedy forgot that i have lyme ....lol......I simply dont complain anymore and if Im in pain i just dont say anything cause ppl comment ...well You n e e d to find the r i g h t doctor take IV antibiotics do this do that ......its so annoying and unfair ..on a top of pain and constant fatigue ,anxiety ,depression and so on You have to have a smiley face and joke a lot ...so people will not run away .....I have gf who are smoking ,drinking eating SAD diet and yet they feel great ...
I dont smoke ,almost dont drink ,dont eat gluten ,hardly any meat ,jucie a lot ,salads ,supplements,switching soon to sugar free ...... You name it and i feel like crap ...they feel g r e a t........the joke is that I eat to healthy thats why Im getting sicker.....aaaaggggghhhhhh....
well not sure what else to say You may want to read about Your sickness and watch U tube vids ....diet really helps with fibro ,,,there is tones of info on that subject now...luckily .....
good luck !!!!!

All my friends abandoned me when I became sick too. I hope you find a reason to live.

Yes all my friends and family have abandoned me 2 and I am trying to get a service dog to give me a reason to live but even trying to get anyone to help me with fundraiser everyone just been given me a hard time 😭😭

At least it helps to know that I am not alone

I am so with you! Now that i am disabled from fibromyalgia and back vertibrae fusion surgery and no longer have the ability to go and assist others, my family and friends have dissapeared. I also have turned to Jesus and speak with him. I have tried the joining the church thing and have found a very bad experience in several churches. Now that I am totally housebound (no vehicle) I guess I have become unuseful to others. Jesus keeps me alive so i have to respect that and not end my life. I just want to thank you for sharing this so honestly. The internet is full of fake platitudes, and unhelpful advice. I just wanted to say that there is one just like you. There is nothing wrong that we are doing that says we deserve this lack of attention or help or love. Perhaps they think i am faking or their lives are so in need that they cannot spend any time with me. Hopefully, if we hang tough, God will bring friendship or family back. I have two chihuahua's that love me unconditionally and sometimes that is all that keeps me going. God bless you and try not to despair.

Don't you have to wonder why your dog God's are there and the supposed real God is not there if he loves you so much? (you know god is dog spelled backward's, so who is the real god in your life right now?)

People do act like they care as long as it serves them. It has made me sick, the reasons that people became or rejected my friendship. At least you have learned, after you learn the true nature, you can't be hurt by the illusion of compassion. It seems that you hold on to one more. jesus. It may help, especially since some people try, for different reasons all based on "self", to be kind. Be aware though, that people seem to seek the least painful way to help and can actually judge you for your pain. The superstitious have many ways of justifing their bad and uncaring behavior. I am sorry for the bad feelings that you have because of your humans lack of support. That is only because of our common experiences and how easy it is for me to be genuinely sorry.

Since Jesus seems to provide you with comfort have you gone to a church to find other people who share the feelings have towards Jesus? It seems like this would be a positive step you could take for yourself, I am just thinking that you might find comfort among people with similar religious beliefs. You can't choose your family but perhaps you can choose some new friends at a church of your choosing.