I Have So Many Issues!

i AM 49 YEARS OLD AND WAS DIAGNOSED WITH THE FOLLOWING 24 YEARS AGO, agoraphbia, panic disorder,ptsd,bi-polar, at least thoes are the main ones.  Untill a year and a hlf ago I lived on a very quiet Island in the San Jauns.  My mother who before she passed away (almost a year ago) wanted to move to the city, so the three of us moved, my step-dad,mom and myself.  I am scared living in such a big city.  I like evryone has my good days and many bad ones. I am so happy at hoom working on the conputer as I can not have a regular job.  My office is a 700 square foot sunroom all closed in and nice and peacefull.  I have a kitten and totaly enjoy my alone time.  My step dad does not understand what I go through and thinks by pushing me, he is helping. The only other person who undestands is my 30 year old daughter who lives 1200 miles away.  I have many "friends" if you want to call them that. But when I am at home no one calls.  I have had some very bad things happen in the last year and the worst, besides losing my mom was just last weekend.  I do NOT want to leave the house for any reason.  I have to see my shrink Monday and already feel the panic setting in.  I have a nice truck, but do not feel I can drive so I have to have some one take me.  Why can't people understand I love my life and am very content as long as they leave me alone and don't try to fix me?  I am a kind, sweet, lovable, honest person.  I just need my space.  Am I alone in this?

dolllover dolllover
46-50, F
2 Responses Feb 26, 2010

Well you hit home with that statement!! Its all in your head, just get over it!! I get so tierd of hearing it! You are lucky you have a "mild" case..any is terrible! My agraphobia and the bipolar... plus all the other things my shrinks say I have, put me in a position that I can't work..very seldom leave my home. I am divorced and 49 years old..no life!! I guess you get used to it after a while....

I too have just been diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder and bi-polar II disorder which is also known as cyclothymic disorder which is apparently the mildest form of the disorder(s) but it's still hard because I come from an old-school, ultra conservative family that doesn't believe in those "issues" as they call them; they tell me that I just need to get over it, whatever it is...