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Me And My Deceased Fiance Did This Constantly

me and Caleb would stay on the phone for HOURS talking about everything. what our favorite foods were, what we would do when we were older, how much we cared for one another. most of the time our phone calls were about me trying to get him to not do dangerous things and him trying to convince me i would get my a** beat if i did anything i was not supposed to do. i would taunt him a lot knowing there was nothing he could do about it until that Monday or the next morning when we had school. i remember him singing me to sleep on several occasions. one song he always sung to me was "lone star-amazed". that was the song he used to describe how he felt about me. i still to this day don't see in myself what he saw in me. once i scared him on purpose by making a loud bang after i had just said i was going to jump off my roof. he went silent then said "Caitlin i know your joking". i stayed silent. "babe if you don't answer i am hanging up". i still stayed silent. "baby please answer me". i broke and said "i am sorry i was messing with you honey". it scared me horribly because he then went silent. "Caleb, you still there"? "oh, i am still here". "why are you silent"? "because i am contemplating something". "w-what would that be"? "how i shall punish you for being so cruel as to do that when you KNOW how much i care and love for you". "i was joking, you do it all the time to me"! "yes, but i am the man in this relationship". "are you sure about that, cause i mean-". "do. not. push. your. luck". "-gulp-". "if you dare make one smart a** comment i promise you will not sit down on your bottom for over a month". "but-". "Caitlin, do i have to say your full name"? i was really scared because he has never used my full name up until this phone call. i decided to smart off anyway. "sure why not Caleb Josiah Sullivan". "GRRR...". "please don't kill me". "oh i won't kill you, that would be going way too easy on you. no i have something far worse planned than death. it is called living under my punishing hand. do you really want to know how much my palm is twitching right now"? "no". "well i am going to tell you anyway. both of my palms are twitching, wishing you were here so they could tan your backside redder than a ripened apple". "but, i have to sit down for school in those really hard chairs..". "you should have thought about that before you decided to be naughty". we had conversations like that all the time. once, we fell asleep on the phone with each other and i woke up listening to his dream. he was talking, explaining it. his dream was about me and him fighting off some guy and then me and him getting married. i wanted to cry because i knew then there was no way his love was a lie. lots of times i would look at the clock and it would be two thirty but then while on the phone with him i looked again and it was dark outside. he made time fly by fast..too fast. i have all these great memories to look back on and to cherish him by though, so i am happy. i still cry a lot and sit hugging and kissing his jacket. i think and hope maybe he can feel it when i do that, maybe he can feel me hugging it and it feels like i am hugging him. that's my hope anyways..
Caitlinsmith1636 Caitlinsmith1636 18-21, F Feb 1, 2013

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