Anyone Relate?

HI, well i don't know where to start. But i was a pretty healthy girl besides growing up with some panic attacks and weight fluctuations from a rough childhood. I am now 23. Since around turning 20 i started getting dizzy issues. At age 21 a year later i was diagnosed with Hypoglycemia. I had just finished school for dental assisting and got a job. With long hours and more problems of weakness and fatigue which always thought it was my blood sugar i suffered a lot and could barely get through my 9-12 work days. I had to quit. So my doc wasn't sure of what was going on and did some blood work which showed a positive ANA. So i went to a rheumatologist and now diagnosed with Fibro after 3 visits and lots of blood work! Oh my i don't know where to anxiety has gotten so bad! Dealing with that and low blood sugar my weight has gone up 60 pounds in 3 years. I eat relatively good and yes i don't get as much acitivity because i can't work and never feel good. Some days i'm afraid i'm dying:(. Fibro symtoms can be so bad! I live in mid west so we get snow and cold weather. this winter i was in ER i was so shaky and weak my muscles felt as if they were clenching inside my body. Lasted a few good days and just terrible weakness on and off and hands, feet feeling swollen but don't look it. Constant muscle aches and spams. Feeling short of breath and skin crawling feelings on my skin and skin feels like rug burn all over? Also extrememe hot flashes. Then depression and anxiety kicks in and i can barely get through the day.Hard to even clean the house, grocery shop, attend fam functions ect. I get so tired so fast or get dizzy and weak. My husband says i overdue it. But being home i had sitting around i feel useless so i try to keep my mind as busy as i can. I am scared with meds and so sensitive to a lot of medications. And have had so many reactions i don't want to take anything anymore! I do take Vitamin D for low d. And prevacid 30mg one time a day for GERD, Multi and zyrtec as needed for allergies. I was prescribed a beta blocker for dizzy migranes i get but i don't even want to take that. I suffer from horrible periods( that fibro flares up so bad around that time of month) which my gyno found out if have insulin resistance. They don't understand because i have low sugar not high. I will be seeing a specialist in feb. I'm a mess, young and stressed. I have lost friends because i never feel good. I'm now afraid to go anywhere alone. I stay home. Unless i'm out with anyone. I don't understand its not what i want at all. I think i'm just so tired of people judging me because they think what i'm going though is no big deal. And embarrassed from my weight gain. I feel hopeless and bad i can't work to help my husband. I have no sex drive. Constantly tired. And oh jeez these weird sleep disturbances i have been getting. I start to drift off and ill get these tingle rushes through my body or i jerk awake n body feels like a brick. It scares me to death. Doc said maybe fibro related? I am starting to get real serious about my diet. Day one today lol. Going to eat as natural as i can and anti inflammatory foods! I also will be starting phys therapy for fibro. But nervous. I had a massage recently and my body hurt so bad the next day! Even into my chest. I could keep going on but just felt like maybe someone would know where i'm coming from. I talk to friends and fam and i feel like they are tired of hearing it and just tune me out now:( All i hear is your young nothing is wrong or just get a job and get on with your life. That will make you better. You have to think someone else has it so much worse, your not the only one going through things! Its so hurtful because im not trying to get attention n make people feel bad for me. I know people have it so much worse and i pray for them. And don't get me wrong job wise... i want that more than ever but i physically can't! But i am working on starting my own photography business! Im so happy about that. Something for me and i can bring some money in. But not even that its really my passion! well i would like to hear any thoughts, relations or ideas to help me? Thanks all!
Rachg810 Rachg810
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 15, 2013

My God, you're me.. except, I don't sleep.. the lack of a sex drive is horrible... I have endometriosis, so I understand the period nightmare! I'm in KC, which is in the Midwest too... if ya need to talk, I'm here!

Awe really?!! So im not crazy lol. Yes i'm so glad to find other who understand and relate! It's so tough having other issues too that make fibro worse. I'm here for yah too!

My dear friend, I was surprised to see such a parallel story to mine written here. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when I was 16. I am now 25. After 9 years of this, I can identify with that ever present feeling that others must think I am lazy or making things up. Of all the torture fibromyalgia brings, the most invasive is that it often creates self reproach and causes one to question themselves - Is this real? What is really wrong with me? Is it all in my head? What does everyone around my think? You must trust your body at this point. Yes, it is real. It is an invisible force trying to overcome you. It may be able to cause you physical distress, but you choose if you let it overpower your mind.

Like you, I have dizziness, hot flashes, and sleep disturbances. If I hear a noise in the night, even with earplugs, I am startled and wake up with a racing heart in confusion and terror. I have anxiety as well, and am also in the midwest. I work, but have intermittent FMLA so that on the roughest days I can stay home without pay and still have job security. I'm still financially having some issues, as both I and my husband have over $600/month each to pay in school loans. Every day I stay home, I have to live with the fact that I have lost 8 hours of pay, and it is terrifying.

The only way I get through it is knowing that there will be flare-ups, there will be good days, and there will be in between days, and I cannot change that. When I hit rock bottom, I know that it is real, acknowledge that it is there, but do my best to stand up and tell it that this is my life and I will not allow it to bully me. Each day I stay home I try to not see it as a failure, but as a time to empower myself and others. I battle complacency, not fibromyalgia. If I am in pain and do not feel well and am not able to be as mentally coherent as I want to be, I have a choice: Do I sit in bed and distract myself or do I collect myself and find a positive way to use the day as a building block? What can I do that will allow me to acknowledge the pain but not let it ruin my day?

It has never been easy, nor will it ever be, but don't give up on living a fulfilled and productive life. Don't push yourself physically, and rest when you need to, but claim your right to decide what you want your life to be like. I still and always will struggle with this myself. Here I am sitting on my bed and sipping decaf tea. Yes, I could be curled up and trying to sleep, to disappear, but I need to let a strong young woman know that they are not alone in facing the fibro. We can be strong, you and I, and help others to do so too.

I am speaking to you, Rachg810, but I am also speaking to everyone who identifies with any of these words.

I have learned a lot about fibro over the years, and have many lifestyle habits hat help a bit, and if anyone wants to look at any of my posts or message me, I welcome it. I am new on this website, but intend to speak out and be with people in spirit. We are not alone! Sending warmth and a gentle hug!