Thought I Was Done

So, I've been through some stuff.... but who hasn't?
Plenty of people have seen and experienced things that where vile.
I thought i was done though.. I thought i was in the clear, been to therapy got that t-shirt all that ****.
It's been about a year since I've had a flashback at least without an obvious trigger and six months since I've stop letting my sister shove drugs in me. The suicidal moments aren't near as bad as they once where - no hospital stays. So i figured I'd stay in school and finish my associates degree before i deem myself a lame good for nothing person; it's going well and I am putting my all into it. Then starting monday... right in the middle of class..the flashback starts, I try to override it. i tried my damn best.. trying to listen and focus on the new clutch system but all i could see was him. It just keeps playing I hate it. why do i get to keep these memories. why can't they just be deleted. what the **** am i doing wrong? it's starting to damage how much work i can get done or how effectively i can study..
DeanaWinchester DeanaWinchester
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

Flashbacks suck. They're scary and it's hard to shake them and they always seem to happen at the worst possible times, ammiright? if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message:) Can't say I know what you're going through, but as far as flashbacks go I definitely feel your pain.