I Thought I Did...

She told me I was hers... and I believed strongly that she was mine. It made me feel complete. For once, I was satisfied with my life. I had someone to care for. I am deeply in love with this beautiful, caring and intelligent woman.

She started to have doubts in our relationship. She said she was afraid that she's losingĀ  memories spent together. I was asking her to wait for me but she couldn't even do that. I wasn't enough anymore. I will never get a fair fight as I have already lost since the beginning. I told her what I can and cannot do and I'm naive enough to think that she accepted it. I was naive enough to believe that I would be enough for her.

I had found my one true love. I was too busy being in love that I didn't even notice that she was still looking for hers.

I loved you so much, April. This pain that I'm feeling continues to tear me apart. I wished I was enough for you.
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3 Responses May 15, 2012

I never saw this story until just now....there is so much left screwed up between us. I know you hate me. I know you'll never read this....I wish we could talk. I want you to have peace, and I don't think I'll ever truly have peace myself until you do. I hate knowing that I'm the first person who ever broke your beautiful heart. It was never my intention. When I was with you, my heart was yours...entirely....I've never loved anyone as much as you...never loved as intensely....the ONLY reason I decided to choose a life without you as my partner was because I wanted to have children with someone. Not adopt....not get some stranger's *****...but create a precious life with someone else. It has been such a hard decision to stick to....but I think I have made the right decision. I know my life with you would've been a beautiful, fun adventure....and I know no one will ever love me the way you loved me....and I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I loved you....and still do love you...but I had to do this. I wish we could be friends....I hate being strangers drifting randomly throughout the world. I miss you...

ya story is so like mine . . . . She was not ready for eternity . . . I love her she is the one for me but wit all my heart i wish i was her angel never seen never heard by her just holding her in my arms protecting her . . . ( i wish she could hold me to :( . . . . . ) but am so protective of her am sure i would be her angel

"Doubt" is a pretty scary word for me... I had that so many times in my current relationship.... but because i loved her so much, i never and will never give her up... I'm learning, and I'm discovering myself more,,, I'm learning of how far I am willing to go for the one I love...